The thrice-obsolete social networking service Friendster is deleting all user content next month. Woe is us! Er… woe is us who still have a Friendster account. So, woe is twelve-to-fifteen people?
This day was foretold by mad .gif-prophets in the dark Geocities past. On May 31st, "Friendster will move to wipe out all photos, blogs, comments and groups uploaded or created by its user," according to TechCrunch. Friendster, is relaunching as an "entertainment and fun" service focusing "mainly on Asian users." Can't make it with white people? Asians will use any crap technology! Sort of racist, Friendster.
But don't worry about backing up your Friendster account. As soon as Obama hears about this travesty he'll pass an emergency injunction to keep Friendster from deleting so much crucial internet past. You wouldn't just erase Plymouth Rock, would you? Save Mark Zuckerberg's Asian fetishy profile! And pictures of your horrible outfits circa 2002! And the insufferably sycophantic "testimonials" Friendster users used to leave on each other's walls! Eh, maybe it's better that it's all tossed in the digital dustbin. We have Facebook now, forever and always. The End of Internet History.