Last year, 77 year-old Iowan senator Chuck Grassley vowed to do anything for reelection—including picking up Twitter. We almost wish he hadn't. Grassley's 1,147 tweets are possibly among the most incoherent, confounding, mind-boggling text on the internet.

This is perhaps the quintessential Senator Grassley tweet. Was it an accident? Was he actually trying to convey some information here? Did he just drop his BlackBerry? Is it a call for help? What are you trying to tell us, Chuck!?

This tweet is one of Sen. Grassley's trademark "bunch of fucking nouns all over the place" missives. We're not really sure what this all has to do with ethanol, BUT HE DOESN'T LIKE IT.

More logorrhea. I think he should spend less time worrying about the EPA and more time worrying about public spacebar access.

Roger that. Mission Control. Abraham Lincoln, are you there? Is my telegraph reaching the front lines? Is my Tweeting Engine activated? MORE COAL! FULL POWER!

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I do not know what this means but it sort of turns me on.

QUIT PICKING ON OLD MAN GRASSLEY, HE'S USING A BETA VERSION OF TWITTER WITH ONLY 120 CHARACTERS.

Oh wait, there are the other twenty! Perhaps he found them in a jar of spare change, or under the couch. It's time to tweet to the MAX!

New theory: Sen. Grassley isn't technologically inept, he's just on a shitton of Vicodin and partying at all times. Xtra delite! Jazz! Haywarden hos! No wonder he enjoys Tuesdays so much.

Forget health care! There are "brackets" to be "bustd" in this country!

Yeah this is just gibberish.

In a way, despite being the single syntactically and semantically sound thing Grassley's ever tweeted, this is somehow the most insane of them all.