All 28-year old Gary Burke wanted was to return his weed whacker to Sears, just like his father had and his father's father before him. But when he was turned away because the lawn and garden section was closed by the time he got there, he exercised his right as an American crazy person to lose it in the most over-the-top way possible.

Burke began screaming at the Sears employees who could offer him neither solace nor store credit until regular store hours. When police arrived to settle everyone down, Burke became a weed whacker attacker. He managed to strike one of the officers with the lawn tool before being arrested and charged with aggravated assault on a police officer, unlawful possession of a weapon, and more. He's currently being held on a $17,500 bail.

Presumably, though, he managed to get the weed whacker off his hands. [FoxNY]