16 Stories to Read Before Your Ascension

Rapture Gear | Saturday's shaping up to be a rough one - best to be prepared.

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionLet's Punk the Rapture

A lot of people think the Rapture is coming May 21. It's not. But assuming your pets are okay, here's a prank we'd like you to pull. We call it Rapture Bombing. More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionWhat to Do When the Rapture Doesn't Happen: A Guide for Believers

Greetings, faithful reader. We assume you are reading this on Sunday, after the Rapture did not occur on Saturday as you believed it would. How do you deal with such a stunning turn of events? We're here to help. More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionStephen Colbert Is Prepared for the End of the World

We previously alerted you to the fact that, according to crazy Christian group Family Radio, the world will end when Christ returns on May 21. One person who isn't sweating the upcoming Rapture? Stephen Colbert, who explained his end-of-times excitement on tonight's Report. More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionCrazy People Drive Post-Rapture Pet Pickup Boom

The end times are this weekend, and I know what you're thinking: What about my dog? Don't sweat, for $135 a group of plucky blaspheming atheists will swing by your crib and pick up your pets. Holla! More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionRanking The 10 End-Of-The-Human-Race Scenarios

The Rapture is scheduled for tomorrow, and this is roughly the 17th time in my life that all of us were supposed to die according to some kind of vague, medieval prediction. All of these Rapture predictions, of course, are born of hubris. More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionIt's Our Last Day on Earth. What are you going to play?

Tomorrow is the Rapture, according on one Harold Camping, a minister who sounds like Vincent Price and looks like a pickle in a deep fryer. All the Christians will be spirited to heaven, while the rest of us will be left to suffer the tribulations of the coming apocalypse. Babylon Surf City, let's go! More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionHarold Camping: Who is he and how did he calculate the end of the world?

The man on your left is Harold Camping. He's the guy that calculated the Rapture date. These are some things you might no know about him. [via Washington Post] More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionMake My Bed? But You Say the World's Ending

The New York Times discusses the pitfalls of parenting after your children have realized that you've lost your mind and now believe that the world will end because a UC Berkeley engineering major told you so. [via NYTimes] More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionFamilies Torn Apart By Tomorrow's Rapture

Most of us are getting a good chuckle out of a fringe cult's claim that tomorrow is Judgment Day. It becomes a lot less amusing when you're mom starts planning for the rapture, and tells you it's too bad you won't be coming with her. More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionHandy Flowchart Helps Determine If You'll Die This Weekend

If the Bible is correct, Judgment Day is happening this Saturday. How are you supposed to know if you'll be chosen or left behind? Luckily, the knowledgable folks at Peas and Cougars have created this handy chart: More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionWhy the world will end on May 21

Over at Salon, there's a great article by Peter Finocchiaro about all those mysterious billboards and ads online about how the world is going to end on May 21 - a week from tomorrow. Apparently, they're the work of a splinter group of Christians who follow Harold Camping. Though decades ago Camping incorrectly identified 1994 as the year that the world would end, that hasn't deterred him or his followers. They are convinced now that May 21 is the day. Here's Camping's evidence, as summed up by Finocchiaro: More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionThere's no dystopia as campy as a post-Rapture dystopia

Now that we know the Rapture is coming on May 21, it's time to prepare. So what will life be like after the Rapture? Judging from this awesome post-Rapture movie, it'll be just like other dystopian futures... only campier. More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionMugen S2K is rapture ready

When the rapture comes this weekend those of us left will suddenly have to contend with empty roundabouts. Whatever shall we do with them? Hoon, of course. This pair in their black S2000s are already practicing. More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionCar enthusiasts troll true believers ahead of end times

Based on predictions from a Baptist minister that the Rapture would begin on May 21, a group of would-be racers decided to fund raise amongst those expecting to hear God's call. The pushback from the flock? Hilarious. More »

16 Stories to Read Before Your AscensionA Conversation With Harold Camping, Prophesier of Judgment Day

The man on your left is Harold Camping. He's the guy that calculated the Rapture date. These are some things he wants you to know about himself. [via NYMag] More »