You had a few too many while out one night, and you told all your friends they should totally come over for a Memorial Day pool party. Only problem is, you don't have a pool. DON'T PANIC! This week's Toolkit will give you everything you need to throw a pool-less pool party.
Daiquiri Whacker : People are going to be disappointed when they arrive and don't see a pool. I mean, rightfully so, you promised them one after all. The best thing to do right off the bat? Get 'em drunk. And the Daiquiri Whacker will do just that, blending up your favorite frozen drink using a gas-powered motor: no electricity needed! You'll instantly become the life of the party. Just look at this guy, or this guy, or—dear god—this guy.
Misting Outdoor Umbrella: After you throw some drink in their cup, they'll probably start complaining about hunger and the sun. So while you grill something up (WE GOT YOU COVERED FOR THAT, TOO), stick em under a sun umbrella that spews mist at the same time. They'll love it. $90
Water Balloon Slingshot: After awhile, they'll probably get bored and start thinking about that phantom pool again. That's when you pull out a tub of 200 water balloons. But give 'em more than just a standard water balloon war. Toss in the water balloon slingshot and let your guests have fun breaking your neighbors' windows and damaging—or at least moistening—parked cars. $9
Nano-Tex Polo Shirt: Sure, this polo shirt makes you look like your dad (which is admittedly a horrifying existential whirlpool), but guess what? When your drunk guests start spilling (gas-powered) Daiquiri on you and/or slinging water balloons your way, you'll be thankful for the spill and stain-resistant Nano-Tex fabric these shirts are made with. $17
Super Soaker Max Infusion Flash Flood Water Blaster: If your guests are being wet blankets over the balloons, go for the big (water) guns. And what better way to do it than with a Super Soaker that cobines the phrases "max infusion" and "flash flood" in its product name? Plus you get not one but TWO water streams to nail people with. $90
Casio G'zone Commando Rugged Smartphone : If you're worried about some riotous party goer doing water damage to your phone, there's a rugged handset for that. It's called the Casio G'zone Commando, and it's a full functioning Android handset that can withstand the elements. Drop it, douse it, puke on it. Chances are, it'll survive. $200
Banzai 3-D Shark Bite Water Slide: Once everyone's come to terms with your lack of pool, it's time to get weird. Try and tell me you and your friends don't want to do psychedelics and slide down this thing. Try. $27
S'more To Love S'more Maker: When the day turns to night, and everyone is stuffed, drunk, soaking wet and tripping balls, why not use that left over heat from the barbeque to fire up some s'mores, which will toast up perfectly in this holding rack. $20
[Image via Shutterstock]
Toolkit is Gizmodo's weekly roundup of the gadgets and gear you need to tackle any and every situation.