Iran-Contra. The Bay of Pigs. The Battle of Mogadishu. All of these failures and black eyes upon American military history—none of them compare to this monstrosity, this abomination. This war crime. A briefing composed entirely in Comic Sans.
Nevermind that the presentation, typical government clusterfuckery Power Point eyeball eruption, is visual gibberish without Comic Sans. But it does have Comic Sans—that vile, vile stroke, the festering gonorrhea of typography, from which no free man is safe. One hundred slides of it.
Safety—that's a task we trust our brave men and women in uniform with. But how can they do their job while being undermined by an aide to General Ann Dunwoody, who created this corneal rape, entitled "Strategic Choices - Adapt to Win." But there are no winners here. There can be no victory in a world terrorized by Comic Sans. I call upon the Pentagon to do what's right here, and get the court martial proceedings underway.
Danger Room's Spencer Ackerman, perhaps literally the bravest person on the internet, has uploaded the entire graphical massacre for public viewing, if you hate yourself.
You can keep up with Sam Biddle, the author of this post, on Twitter or Facebook.