Sometimes, the best way to remember those who've passed on to the great unknown is to look at photographs. Or write a poem. Or leave flowers at their headstone. Or shoot them out of a gun.
Holy Smoke has a very niche business. For $1,250, they'll cram the incinerated leftovers of your dead amigo into a nice load of ammo. And there's something for everyone! One pound of human ash plus your bereaved cash will yield 250 shotgun shells, 100 rifle cartridges, or 250 pistol cartridges. But wait, there's more:
(Mantle-worthy, finished, wooden handcrafted boxes with labels are available for an additional $100.00 per box for either shotshells or cartridges.)
And what will those labels say, I wonder? "My aunt is in these shotgun shells."
An account of the company's creation by one of its founders reveals that he is clearly some sort of lunatic:
My friend smiled and said "You know I've thought about this for some time and I want to be cremated. Then I want my ashes put into some turkey load shotgun shells and have someone that knows how to turkey hunt use the shotgun shells with my ashes to shoot a turkey. That way I will rest in peace knowing that the last thing that one turkey will see is me, screaming at him at about 900 feet per second."
Yes, this sounds normal and not at all fucking creepy and sick. If I could have my ashes inserted inside a hydrogen bomb, however, then we'd be talking.
Aside from being kind of perverse, Holy Smoke's business would be an excellent premise for some sort of revenge killing film. You murdered my dog. And now, Mr. Pooftail's ashes are about to blow your head off.
Photo: Andreas Gradin/Shutterstock
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