Looks like China's not the only country jazzed about stealing the contents of Steve Jobs' brain! Although far less lucrative than counterfeiting iPhones, TNW reports Ukraine's Secretary of National Security and Defense stole Mr. Apple's Stanford speech. The different, AMIRITE?

Although it's not a word for word lift, it's clearly a ripoff of Jobs' oration. And why wouldn't you steal from Steve's words! He's an extremely charismatic guy, who captivates massive audiences and convinces us to froth and buy expensive things. What politician wouldn't want these superpowers?

And Secretary Raisa Bogatyreva used the powers to the fullest—to deliver a bunch of quasi-translated platitudes, as verified by TNW:

Raisa Bogatyreva: Knowledge, that you've got today in these walls, your character, fate, life, or at least karma, will help you to find the right answer.

Steve Jobs: You'll have to stand on somethething. On your character, fate, life, karma, anything.

Bogatyreva: up to 33 years, I was not paying attention to the saying: If you live each day like the last, ever to do it.

Jobs: When I was 17, I came across a quote if you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.

That's what he chose to steal? Greeting card stuff about character and fate? If you're going to steal a speech, go for some thunder, like a Malcolm X or JFK delivery. Come on, Bogatyreva!

Meanwhile, the Ukrainian Security Council insists they have nothing to do with the plagiarism, and that Bogatyreva was probably just "inspired" by Jobs. You hear that, struggling students? Just go to Wikipedia and find some inspiration for that history paper you don't feel like writing. If you get expelled, at least you'll have a job waiting for you on the Ukrainian Security Council. [iSmashPhone via TNW]