Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the Week

Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the WeekThe Best and Worst of the iPhone 5s

As the launch of the iPhone 5 looms, the number of idiotic fakes is increasing exponentially. Every fanboy with Photoshop is trying to be the center of attention by posting blurry images made with their cute little sausage fingers. More »

Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the WeekPlease Stop Calling Gadgets Sexy

Dear technology journalists of the world: You know how you called that gadget you just reviewed sexy? Tell me, do you intend to fuck it, or do you simply plan to shove it up your ass? More »

Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the WeekWhy I Would Rather Be a Smoker Than an iPhone User

I've had relationships with many hand-held digital objects, but none as intense as the one I had with the iPhone. It became so addictive that I exchanged it for an iPod touch. More »

Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the WeekHow I Made a 15-Year-Old App Developer Cry

When I was 15, I was wearing baggy jeans, chasing girls and listening to hip hop. If I was 15 today, I'd probably do the same things but with skinny jeans on. Not Nick D'Aloisio. He's a 15-year-old kid who makes iPhone apps. And I made him cry. More »

Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the WeekGoogle's Real Names Policy is Evil

Google's horrible new policy on using real names in Google+ effectively means that the service is now a danger to real people. You have to ask yourself why a company that pledged to not be evil would do this. More »

Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the WeekI Just Don't Give a Shit About AT&T's Manufactured Network Doomsday Anymore

Lately, anytime the gaping maw of AT&T opens, no matter what it's talking about—puppies! or unlimited data (boring) or financial data—it has to slip in at least a tiny reference to how badly the T-Mobile merger has to happen, or all of our phones are going to explode. More »

Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the WeekiPhone 4 Vs The Simplest Phone on the Planet

Oooh yeah, let's get ready to rumble! The iPhone 4 is the world's favorite smartphone. John's Phone is the world's simplest cellphone! Which one will win as they battle to the death? More »

Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the WeekIt's Ridiculously Easy to Steal iPads from Walmart

Californian Walmarts have got a problem on their hands, with a trio of thieves stealing iPads in a very simple ruse involving one man telling an assistant he wants to buy two iPads, which are then set aside for him under a counter. More »

Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the WeekThe Best Way to Store Stuff in the Cloud

Cloud storage services are everywhere these days. The internet has gotten cloudier than my memories of Burning Man '05. Each claims to rule the sky, but there can be only one. More »

Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the WeekYou Could Be Eating Genetically Modified Corn—and Not Even Know It

Monsanto, the oft-vilified company known for hawking genetically modified seeds and suing farmers, is putting genetically modified sweet corn on supermarket shelves this fall. More »

Why Smoking Is Better Than iPhoning, Making 15-Year-Old Developers Cry, and the Other Best Stories of the WeekWhat a Market Crash Means for Your Gadgets

Last week the stock market finally reached the apex of its clickety-clack roller coaster ascent. Now it's begun the free-fall into financial oblivion. So what does that mean for you, gadget enthusiast? More »