Seems like everyone is up President Obama's ass for something these days. Too much war. Not enough war. Too much spending. Not enough spending. This guy can't win. His rapidly graying hair is proof of that.
But if El Presidente had a few tools at his disposal, his job might be a lot easier. Here are seven that could help him get the job done faster, better, and with a little less stress.
Obama catches plenty of flak from the public for his cigarette habit. Maybe instead, he should just go with an eCigarette, which gets that foul, carcinogenic tobacco out of the way and delivers a quasi-satisfying, metered hit of nicotine instead. $130
Half the time, Obama's biggest problem has nothing to do with himself. It's Joe Biden and his chronic inability act in a dignified manner. Keep Biden permanently gagged and the job becomes instantly easier. Sure, it may send out some weird S&M vibes, but it's better than the media overhearing Biden discussing weird S&M vibes with Silvio Berlusconi. $33
America loves photos of presidential candidates eating giant corn dogs. If Obama kept a deep fryer in his arsenal at all times, he could generate a blast of photo op positivity at will. Take THAT, Republicans. $35