A string of earthquakes has just struck the United States of America. Our offices just shook—as did many in states across the country. Check here for the latest.
Update: Colorado was hit with a 5.3 magnitude quake—its largest in 40 years.
Update 2: T-Mobile and AT&T's cell networks are confirmed jammed for us in Manhattan. Some Verizon users having trouble too.
Update 3: WaPo reports the epicenter of the east coast quakes was in central Virginia—reaching all the way up to Boston.
Update 4: The Pentagon, White House, and Capitol have been evacuated. GET TO DA CHOPPA!
Update 6: The USGS has bumped up the Virginian earthquake to a 5.9.
Update 7: Gawker's Adrian Chen points out another clue of our rapidly self-destructing stupid internet society: the first instinct of many earthquake participants was to check-in on Foursquare!
Update 8: PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES: DO NOT WORRY, MICHELLE BACHMANN HAS OUR SHIT COVERED.
Update 9: Here's a detailed USGS report on the Virginian quake-splosion.
Update 10: If you felt the quakes, the USGS wants to know! Chime in with your survival stories.
Update 11: Oh look, the earthquake has its own cute little Tumblr already! That took less time than the duration of the earthquake. The world we live in.
Update 12: John from Brooklyn sends out this quake aftermath shot. The populace has taken to the streets! Will baseball bat sales spike again?
Update 13: Thirdhand reports of a building collapsing in DC. Will keep you all posted on this.
Update 14: JFK might be shut—anyone heard anything else about closed airports?
Update 15: The USGS expects aftershocks.
Update 16: The USGS also says this is the biggest quake to roll out of Virginia since 1897. That's a long time ago! How would 19th century bloggers like me have found out about it in New York?
Update 17: JFK and Washington National airports are both confirmed closed. Newark Int'l Airport is also reportedly out of commission. If you're looking to escape the New York area, LaGuardia is your best bet!
Update 18: USGS says no tsunami expected. Phew.
Update 19: Virginia's North Anna nuclear plant auto-shutdown during the quake, but no damage is reported.
Update 20: Just a reminder: don't call 911 to report the earthquake. They know. Unless you're having an emergency! Then, do.
Update 21: All NYC-area public transit is A-OK.
Update 22: USA Today reports the shocks were felt as far north as Ottawa.
Update 23: Reader Cristobal sent in this shot of the evacuations surrounding New York City Hall.
Update 24: Holy shit: a large chunk from one of the National Cathedral's spires fell during the quake. Washingtonian Jennifer Walker tweeted the following: "I am holding pieces of the national cathedral in my hand. This is very sad. How are they going to rebuild? We keep finding more damage." This could have (but it appears, luckily, did not) killed a lot of people. But as a native Washingtonian myself, I agree—this is really sad. A national loss at a gorgeous site.
Update 25: The NYO quotes a vulcanologist who says not to expect aftershocks.
Update 26: T-Mobile's contacted us with the following statement regarding the general fucked-upedness of cell phone networks at the moment:
T-Mobile's network is experiencing higher call volumes in all areas and counties affected by the earthquake. If customers are experiencing temporary difficultly placing calls due to network congestion, we advise them to use SMS or E-Mail until call volumes return to normal.
Update 27: Reader Daniel sent in this evacuation scene from Baltimore's Inner Harbor.
Update 28: Sprint's dittoing T-Mobile: stick to SMS.
Update 29: JFK and Newark are back in aerial business.
Update 30: Another evac shot from DC's crowded Farragut Square area, a federal employee-dense hood.
Update 31: Ten nuclear plants in four states have announced lowest-level emergency alerts.
Update 32: The Dow has recovered from its post-quake dip, and the New York Stock Exchanged never stopped trading. Capitalism laughs at your puny rattling, mother nature.
Update 33: Here's a peep at seismographical sensors at Virginia Tech. Bad vibrations.
Update 34: The quake's epicenter released the equivalent power of 10,676 tons of dynamite. Kaboom. NATURE!
Update 35: That Virginian nuclear power plant that shut down? It's designed to withstand a 5.9-6.1 magnitude quake. As in, exactly what we had today—had it been a little higher, we'd be writing a very different post right now.
Update 36: AT&T's confirmed to us that they're receiving a very large call volume as well, but no infrastructure damage—so you might want to stick to SMS if you're with them.
Update 37: CNN's live coverage from Washington DC, which saw a lot of people-in-the-streets scenes.
Update 38: The Atlantic's Alexis Madrigal says the USGS' quake depth estimate is now at almost four miles below the Earth's surface.
Update 39: Looks like the quakes haven't affected the entire US, but rather the eastern seaboard, some minor seismic activity on the west coast, and that large shake in Colorado.
HEY YOU! Did you capture any photos or video of the quakes? Send 'em in!
You can keep up with Sam Biddle, the author of this post, on Twitter, Facebook, or Google+.