Apple Tech Support at Its Very Finest

Problem: you've got a computer that you want to take from one location to another. You see your hands, you see the iMac, you just can't for the life of you figure out what comes next. Apple to the rescue!

The above instructions are actual 2009 advice, still up at Apple's website, on "how to pick up and carry your iMac G5." If you ever ended up here, you were probably over-thinking things:

Summary
Don't know how to pick up and carry your iMac G5? It's easy.

Products Affected
iMac G5 (17-Inch iSight), iMac G5 ALS (20-Inch), iMac G5 (17-Inch), iMac G5 ALS (17-Inch), iMac G5 (20-Inch), iMac G5 (20-Inch iSight)
Before moving your computer, make sure all cables and cords are disconnected.

Pick up the iMac G5 by grasping both sides of the computer. Carry it to wherever you wish.

Remember: those detailed instructions only apply to the six products listed here. If you want to move your MacBook Pro, you're going to have to contact an Apple Care specialist. [Apple via SAI]