Why It Pays to Be an Early Email Adopter

If you'd pulled the trigger on Gmail or Twitter sooner, you could have had a sweet, sweet, first-name handle. Now, though? Now you're stuck filling your friends' inboxes and DMs with a bizarre string of jibberish. NEVER AGAIN.

Honestly, the next time they remake A Christmas Carol the Ghost of Christmas Past is just going to show a series of terribly unfortunate late-adoption internet identities. [The Doghouse Diaries]