Happy Mabon! Isn't Mabon just your favoritest holiday of the year? Well, maybe not, but perhaps it would be if you were a pagan. Today marks the Autumnal Equinox. Days and nights are of equal duration, so here's seven tools to help get crunk!
What, you're going to have a pagan party without large amounts of fire? Me think'st not. What better way to honor nature than by burning some nature? The Landmann USA Big Sky Fire Ring is 28 inches in diameter, which means you can cram enough wood in it to keep your back yard party nice n' toasty. It also comes with a full-sized enamel grill for roasting some goat or lamb or what have you. To top it off, it breaks up into pieces for easy storage and it has cutouts of stars and moons or animals (depending on which you choose). What could be more pagan than that? Flame on! $145
Mabon is also known as the Second Harvest, and if there's one thing that fall harvest food screams to me, it's pies, baby, pies. The only thing I like better than a big ol' pie is many little pies. Meat pies, veggie pies, berry pies, pumpkin pies, PIES PIES PIES! So I'm understandably excited about the Breville Pie Maker. You can make four little pies at the same time! That's an appetizer pie, to main course pies, and a dessert pie. Your pagan party guests will love you for these. $100
Speaking of harvest, fall is prime apple-picking season. Grapes, too, depending where you are. You're not going to let your pagan party guests go thirsty, are you? Eff no, which is why you need this gorgeous and functional Homesteader Cider & Wine Press. It works with any soft fruit, and even has a special apple shredder so you can get as much juice as possible. They have smaller, cheaper ones, too, but this will be just right to fuel a medium-sized bacchanal. $700
Okay, you've juiced your juice, which is delicious, but it's not going to get anybody shitfaced as it is. Sure, you could let it ferment a long, long time, but if your party is just a few days away you need to expedite the process. Spike Your Juice can help you with that. Its air-stopper and yeasty packets will get your juice good and boozy within just a few days. Now you can get inebriated (responsibly) and give thanks to Mother Nature without all those pesky scruples. $25 for the party pack, or $10 just to try it at Spike Your Juice