I don't hide my love of stock photography. From the terrifying to the sublime, Shutterstock is a trove of crazy. Enter words, get pictures. Grandparent bacon. Angry prostitute. Let's enter the cave of stock wonder madness together.

I wonder, does each Shutterstocked humanoid live in their own world? Or is there to be some alternate dimension in which these spaghetti-splattered, computer-smashing, phone-licking people all coexist? I'd like to visit there, just once, impregnating everyone I encountered so as to see my spawn take part in the dark art. For now, we'll have to be satisfied with Shutterstock's nifty-looking iPad app. You can explore the zany diversity, the perverse shouting matches, the gardening moms, in all their JPEGged glory, while lying on the couch. It's my favorite game. Just type and see what you find. Let's experiment together—here's what we found after entering the abyss. What about you?

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Comment or tweet your best finds to @Gizmodo with #gizstockphotos.

"Candle licking"

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"Racism" (???)

"Naked friends"

"Funny murder"

"I hate dad"

"Baby money"