UGH Lenovo 5-Inch Tablet Why EW Gross Die DIE IN HELL

Engadget's got the scoop on a 5-inch Lenovo tablet. One of the words in that sentence makes me want to vomit bile, and I'll let you guess! OK. 5-inches. A 5-inch tablet is an asinine thing that should not exist.

Engadget suggests "No matter how tempting the specs on Lenovo's leaked 10.1-inch tablet are, you might prefer something fairly more portable just for the sake of your regular pockets." Yes—a phone. That's called a phone. A phone is a smaller version of a tablet—one that does different things, because it is a different size. Do you want a 10-inch phone? No. Do you want a 5-inch tablet? No. No. It's too small. It's offensively small. Nevermind that the IdeaTab will have two cores. That can't un-shit a shit pile.

Android struggles enough when given an Olympic pool of screen space to swim through—five inches of cramped swiping and tablet typing is an aesthetic abomination. It's not meant to be used by humans, lest they have offended the gods. And yet—pockets? Whose monstrous pockets will this horror be tucked into? What pants of Hades? Get new pants!

This only shows the desperation of iPad competitors to make Android a tablet contender. The rationale is basically this: if it fails, remake it in a new size. Over, and over, and over again.

If only... if only there were some historical precedent for Lenovo to reflect upon that might reveal its folly. Something like the Dell Streak 5, a tablet so horribly unusable that only the Pentagon would want it. Well make room, historical ash heap and/or Pentagon acquisition staff—you'll have a new friend soon enough. [Engadget]


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