The Onion's Masturbation-Guard Robot Beats the Pants Off a Roomba

As a culture, we've been slow to allow robots into our home. But it could be that we've just waiting for the perfect robo-pal. Like, say, the Onion's TYSO, which stands guard during your most personal moments. NSFW reenactments ahead!

I'm just glad all those people who think every Onion report is real finally have something to celebrate. [The Onion]