Unlike Tom from MySpace, Mark Zuckerberg is not your friend. But fuck it. Think about all the time you've spent on Facebook—for free! You should get him something nice.
But what do you get an autistic savant who slaughters and butchers his own meat, happens to be the world's youngest billionaire, and is a practicing atheist for Chaunnukristmas? Don't sweat it. At Gizmodo we've got a gift guide for everyone. Here's what you should show up with outside Zuck's front door at 1456 Edgewood Dr. in Palo Alto.
1. Cash Special .25 Caliber HD Extended Bolt Stunner
2. Koto Tachi Katana Sword
3. Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People
4. Bugatti Veyron Super Sport
Four Babe Ruth's and an early issue of the X-Men
6. Glenfarclas Family Cask 1971
7. Stumptown Esmeralda Especial
8. Sylvan Sport Go
9. Any Gustav Klimt Painting
Approximately $150 million
10. Fuck You
Still haven't found the right present? Don't worry, we're here all month with a new gift guide every day—right up until the last minute. To see 'em all, head on over to #GiftGuide.