On any given Sunday, you're more likely to be to be neck-deep in a D&D campaign than a fantasy football roster. Now the Super Bowl cometh, and you're hosting a party for a bunch of people who watch football exactly once a year.
Everyone watches the Super Bowl so you can't blame people who don't know anything about football for wanting to get in on the collective vibes. But if your friends are clueless, you're going to have to keep them entertained with more than just your bitchin' home theater. No problem. The party will still be about food, booze, and fun, you've just got to package it a little differently. Here's a few ideas to keep your friends happy.
This cooler might not be street legal, but it's a godsend. It keeps the drinks cold during the game, and when one of your guests gets restless, just fire up the 500-Watt electric engine and let them take it for a spin around the block. Criminally easy. Just make sure they've been sticking to sodas, because driving this thing after knocking back a bunch of Buds definitely isn't legal. $300
You are the party commander. Your job is to ensure the safe passage of your squad from the coin toss to the final score. Make sure no one ever goes more than a few seconds without a fresh beer. This ammo-holster keeps 12 beers close at hand so your troops are never short on supplies. $40
This bottle opener defies reason. Leave it on your coffee table and let your friends ponder the philosophical problems created by the mere existence of this tool. Bottle resealer? Why? Because you aren't going to finish your beer? Because the beer is so special that you need to drink it over multiple days? Before you know it, the game will be over. $8
Food is going to be central to your party no matter what, but you should turn actually preparing the food into the party's central activity. First down: Time to fry some wings. Touchdown? Crispy cod goes into the fryer. Successful onside kick? Fried ice cream sandwiches. $100
Load up this gun with ketchup or whatever condiment makes sense for the food you're serving. Slathering your wings in hot sauce from the barrel of a gun is much more satisfying than pouring it on. So is shooting targets with ketchup instead of watching Madonna's halftime performance. $25
If your friends know nothing about football, it's probably because they've spent too much time doing one of two things: watching awesome action movies or playing crazy first-person shooters. Use this to your advantage by leveraging these ice cubes into a conversation. The AK-47 is one of the deadliest weapons ever manufactured, and certain to appeal to their senses. Not because it's sophisticated. It's deadly because it's so darn simple. Discuss. They'll have an opinion. $8
If we learned anything from the last World Cup, it's that nothing drums up the enthusiasm of crowds quite like the persistent drone of a Vuvuzella. $20