Dumbest New Trend: Kids Eating Magnets

A few days ago, we told you about an imperious young girl who ate 37 rare earth magnets and lived. It was pretty astounding, frankly. But apparently kids everywhere are eating the damn things, and as a pandemic, it is very stupid.

Specifically, the issue seems to be buckyballs, which are groups of tiny magnets that bunch together to form a large magnetical mass. Inside of a child, or any human person, for that matter, though, they become attracted to each other while passing through the digestive system, and can rupture the stomach or intestines.

The reasonable reaction here is probably, "Jesus Christ, parents, lock up the damn buckyballs around young children." Two of the "victims" were aged three and five. But another was 12. Here, the family explains how they're handling the trauma:

"Hopefully this has taught her a lesson," Mrs Robinson said.

Her daughter agreed. "Don't swallow magnets," Kaytlyn said.

Which, you know, progress, I guess?

I don't think the answer is outlawing buckyballs, because I like buckyballs and they are fun and guh what the hell don't eat magnets. Instead, I think we should just settle on, and admit, a simple fact about the world: Children are very stupid. [SMH, Daily Mail]