The Opposite of a Retina Screen, GIRL SCOUT COOKIES, and Timelapse for Dunces

I have a lot to do this weekend, but most of it will involve pornographic photos of iPads, because I pre-ordered one and I have never owned an iPad before. In fact, it's been a while since I've owned an iOS device at all, so I'm going to track down an iPhone-carrying friend and hold them hostage while I find some apps to install when my iPad gets here next week. Why not an iPad carrying friend, you ask? Because I am writing about iPhone apps. Here are some good ones from the past week or so.

The Opposite of a Retina Screen, GIRL SCOUT COOKIES, and Timelapse for Dunces

Cookie Finder: Look, I am a terrible person and do not like Girl Scout cookies. I know they are a universal wonder and their brilliance is an empirical fact. Whatever. I don't like them. But here's an app that lets you find them pretty much at all times. I did not read about how it works at all, because again, I hate the cookies, but know that Casey did (HE WAS VERY EXCITED). I do hope you cannot stalk actual Girl Scouts with this app, though. Because that would be bad. Just like the cookies. Free

The Opposite of a Retina Screen, GIRL SCOUT COOKIES, and Timelapse for Dunces

Frames: You like timelapse videos? Of course you do. People love those things. They're like Girl Scout cookies, except I do not actually hate timelapse videos. Frames takes timelapses for you, and it makes it damn simple. Because while I do enjoy a good timelapse, I am an editing dunce and I cannot make one in iMovie. Or any other application that requires basic human comprehension skills. So use Frames if you are very stupid like me or very lazy, also like me. $3

The Opposite of a Retina Screen, GIRL SCOUT COOKIES, and Timelapse for Dunces

Pxl: Retina screens are beautiful! But dangerous. You can very easily fall into a belief that you are actually looking into the real real world, and that you have to escape from whatever made up hell you're living in so you can be with your children like that lady in Inception. This thing pixelates your stuff, or something, and makes it look like that photo up above. IT MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE. $1

Flight Control Rocket: Kotaku says, "In Flight Control Rocket, rather than coaxing airplanes onto airstrips, players will be docking spaceships. In space. The player will use many of the same techniques and tactics from the original Flight Control to bring the spaceships in safely in this colorful, bouncy, retro-futuristic game."