This is Til. He was three weeks old and the cutest rabbit in the world. See, Til had no ears because of some genetic defect, and that made him even cuter than a normal rabbit. Not anymore because... Til's dead, baby. Til's dead.
Til was born at the Limbach-Oderfrohna Zoo in Eastern Germany. When the wabbit caretakers first saw him, everyone was marveled. He is the cutest rabbit in the world! Look at him! His tiny little nose moving, his big dark eyes, his mousy hair! So pretty! The zoo directors thought he was going to be the next big thing since zoo pandas and Paul the Octopus and Boo together. Millions of visitors! Posters! Merchandising! Til-branded headphones! Til-branded carrots! Til-branded knickers!
So they prepared a big press event—with love.
A horde of journalists and photographers came to their call. "VAT? EARRRLESS RRRABBIT!" they screamed like little German girls. Hundreds of thousands of newspapers to be sold! Front page! Prime time news! Documentaries! Pageviews! Unique readers! Viral videos! Worldwide peace and love for every human on Earth indeed.
And then, a German TV cameraman who shall remain nameless walked back into the place where the little guy was being kept with his mom and siblings, without looking.
Then, my friends, then it was splotch. Crunch. Splotch. Silence. And tears.
Til was gone like guacamole. Stomped on and pureed. Instantaneous death by German shoe.
His glory never came to be, but we will always have him in our hearts. Or for the next ten minutes at least. So long Til. I hope you run and eat lots of carrots and harass many ducks in wabbit heaven, you cute thing you.