Bacon Tampons vs. Invisible Sharks, One-Fingered Push-ups, and Who Sent St. Martin's Press $70k Worth of Herb?

Roll that spliff phatly, pack some fresh ice into the binger, and set the Volcano to "toastify." It's time for tonight's Stoner Channel. We've collected our best high-times material for the discerning pothead so sit back, relax, and pass that shit on the left, yo.

Tonight's Maui Outdoor comes to us from reader SuperDub

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Just How Many One-finger Push-Ups Can This Guy Do? (Hint: Lots)

China's Xie Guizhong performed 41 single-digit push-ups in 30 seconds to set a Guinness World Record. I could totally do that, just as soon as I find the motivation to get off my couch.

Bacon Tampons vs. Invisible Sharks, One-Fingered Push-ups, and Who Sent St. Martin's Press $70k Worth of Herb?

Shove a Bacon Tampon Up Your Nose and It Will Stop Bleeding

From the Annals of Otology, Rhinology, and Laryngology comes news that fashioning a strip of cured pork into a nasal tampon will help prevent nosebleeds for those suffering from chronic episodes. More specifically, it was used in the "treatment of [a] life-threatening hemorrhage."

Chuck Jones Teaches You How to Draw Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck

One of the first things I learned when I was a little kid was to draw most of the Warner Bros' cartoons characters created by Chuck Jones. I wish I could have seen these videos by the master himself, because drawing cartoons is hard, despite how easy it looks.

Bacon Tampons vs. Invisible Sharks, One-Fingered Push-ups, and Who Sent St. Martin's Press $70k Worth of Herb?

Someone Tried to Send Eleven Pounds of Weed to St. Martin's Press

First rule of successfully smuggling weed through the mail—don't. If you have to break the first rule, at least follow the second—wrap the package well enough to keep in the stink. Otherwise, you'll end up like these wanna-be drug runners.

According to The Smoking Gun, a USPS worker noted the sweet smell of sticky icky emanating from two packages in a San Diego processing facility. The worker alerted authorities who confirmed their suspicions with a drug-sniffing dog and then obtained a warrant to open the packages. Inside, they found eleven pounds of weed with an estimated street value of $70,000. The weed was found amid packing peanuts and dryer sheets, which mask the smell when used in abundance.

The shipment was sent from the fictitious ABT Books to the fictitious Karen Wright who presumably worked in the mail room of the St. Martin's Press New York headquarters. The Feds of course have seized the shipment and are still investigating the matter. No arrests have been made, but 11 pounds is a lot of drugs to lose on account of shoddy packing skills. [The Smoking Gun - thanks ben.zvan - The Pure OG Kush above is from reader Cho ]

High Times Comedy Show - Doug Benson

Seriously, who brings reading materials to a comedy show?

Bacon Tampons vs. Invisible Sharks, One-Fingered Push-ups, and Who Sent St. Martin's Press $70k Worth of Herb?

MOTHERF*CKING SHARKS CAN BECOME MOTHERF*CKING INVISIBLE

As if they weren't scary enough, scientists have discovered that sharks can become invisible to prey/you using an optical trick. Not scared yet? Well, one of the invisible shark species is nicknamed the phantom hunter of the fjords. Run. Now.

Bacon Tampons vs. Invisible Sharks, One-Fingered Push-ups, and Who Sent St. Martin's Press $70k Worth of Herb?

Are You a Green Gardener?

Care to show off your handiwork to the Internets? If so, we want pics of your best buds, your highest-tech setups, and your bushiest bushes. Send images—960x540 minimum but we prefer 1600x900—of your legal stashes (no High Times ripoffs please) to atarantola at Gizmodo.com and we'll feature the best at the top each night's Stoner Channel. Put "The Stoner Channel" in the subject line while you're at it.

And no, for the last time, we aren't interested in seeing your wicked meth lab setup Jerry. Stop it or we're calling the fuzz.

Image: Curtis Barnard / Shutterstock