Jersey Weed, Antarctic Cheese Doodles, and Tracy Morgan on Shorties (NSFW)S

Roll that spliff phatly, pack some fresh ice into the binger, and set the Volcano to "toastify." It's time for tonight's Stoner Channel. We've collected our best high-times material for the discerning pothead so sit back, relax, and pass that shit on the left, yo.

Click here for more hits from the bong.

This stunning shot comes to us from reader Ian R

Guns by Eclectic Method

BOOM SHALOCK LOCK BOOM and other associated sound effects.

Witness the Happiness That Cheese Doodles Cause After Wandering the South Pole for 86 Days

86 days in the snow? Child please. I get that excited about Cheese Doodles after clearing a three-footer and wandering into the kitchen.

Jersey Weed, Antarctic Cheese Doodles, and Tracy Morgan on Shorties (NSFW)S

New Jersey Gets It's Very First Dispensary

New Jersey legalized medical Marijuana in 2010, however being the champion of progressive causes that he is, Governor Chris Christie has allowed the program to languish. However, yesterday NJ issued its very first growing permit.

The Greenleaf Compassion Center in Montclair was the lucky recipient and will be allowed to cultivate weed per state regulations but not sell it. That requires another permit and additional inspections. Of the six total dispensaries allowed under the law, only GCC has permits to grow and just one other company has been granted a permit for a space. And given that Greenleaf had to threaten legal action to spur on even this amount of progress, don't hold your breath—unless you've just inhaled. [Gothamist - Image: Afghani Kush from reader Cho]

Why We Often Measure Distances In Time

It's to answer the age-old question, "Are we there yet?"

Nic Cage Plays 4:33

Wow, he's awkward even when he keeps his mouth shut. HOW DOES HE DO THAT?!?

And for those of you who don't get the reference, Animal New York succinctly explains, "Composed in 1952 by experimental composer and artist John Cage, 4'33" is 'four minutes, thirty-three seconds' of silence, or rather of the environmental sounds of performers not playing." [Animal New York]

Tracy Morgan Explains Twitter

Yes, this is just as funny as you think it will be, probably more so.

The Beastie Boys Is the Devil

Somehow, that sense of irrational and overwhelming fear elicited from Oprah's guests at the mere prospect of societal change seems oddly familiar *cough*.

Watch old people freak out over the dangers of the youth and their "rap" music. Seriously, you don't know a single person over the age of 50 that doesn't still use finger quotes when they say that word.

Jersey Weed, Antarctic Cheese Doodles, and Tracy Morgan on Shorties (NSFW)S

Are You a Green Gardener?

Care to show off your handiwork to the Internets? If so, we want pics of your best buds, your highest-tech setups, and your bushiest bushes. Send images—960x540 minimum but we prefer 1600x900—of your legal stashes (no High Times ripoffs please) to atarantola at Gizmodo.com and we'll feature the best at the top each night's Stoner Channel. Put "The Stoner Channel" in the subject line while you're at it.

And no, for the last time, we aren't interested in seeing your wicked meth lab setup Jerry. Stop it or we're calling the fuzz.

Image: Curtis Barnard / Shutterstock