Jelly Sea Creatures Disable Entire Nuclear Power PlantS

When we last heard from the Diablo Canyon nuclear power plant, it was under siega by swarms of salp, a gelatinous plankton organism. Last night, the salp won—Diablo Canyon is offline, defeated by the ocean.

SanLuisObsipo.com reports the Californian facility, which feeds electricity to over two million people, was forced to shut itself down after hordes of marauding salp clogged the plant's crucial coolant water intake. Too many salp! This is probably the best possible quote, especially if you read it in a very serious tone:

"Both biology and ocean physics have teamed up against Diablo Canyon," said Mark Moline, a marine biology professor at Cal Poly."

Perhaps Gaia is sending a message to Diablo Canyon, spurning man for its audacity to split the atom just so we can keep our Xboxes humming all night. Why else would there exist a species capable of incredible, spontaneous asexual reproduction? And why would the ocean currents blow the salp flotilla directly into a nuclear power plant? This is no accident. [SanLuisObsipo.com]