Tech writers often get a rap for being shy wimpy nerds. And, you know, a lot of us are. But not Brent Rose, our space-reporting, booze-hacking, Android-love-espousing, (frequently found cross-dressing) actor-cum-writer from Berkeley, CA. While riding his bike through Prospect Park last night, Brent stopped a group of four jerks from mugging a solitary citizen.
In exchange for his valor, Brent won a trip to the hospital and an evening in the police station. Brent's a little laid-up, recovering from last night's festivities, or he'd be writing this himself. Since we don't want to disturb his hero-nap, I'll just show you the email he sent last night:
From: Brent Rose email@example.com 12:41 AM (8 hours ago)
I'm going to try for the very short version here. I was riding my bike in the Park around 7 tonight when I saw four dudes beating the shit out of one guy. So I stopped and basically got in between them, trying to defuse the situation. The main asshole (roughly my size) [Ed: Brent is a pretty big dude, for a tech writer] popped me one, and I basically snapped, threw down my bike and wrestled him to the ground. Unfortunately his three asshole buddies jumped in, punching and kicking me in the head and neck (got my face a little, too). Luckily, I was wearing my bike helmet [Ed: Safety first!] or I might not be writing this from home. All in all, I'm okay. They arrested the four assholes, and I had to go to the police station, and then to the hospital for stitches, etc.
So, I'm basically fine: five stitches above my eye, some skin off my elbow, some gnarly bruises on my forehead, and a seriously sore neck. The doctors said I'm probably going to feel like shit for the next few days, which I'm betting is true. So, I'd like to work from home tomorrow, is what I'm saying. Hesh is basically done with the fitmodo video (just had to had some titles, basically), and I'll write it up in the morning. Maybe not first thing in the morning, but it'll be ready by the afternoon.[Ed: He can have the day off.] I've got a couple meetings scheduled for Thursday, but nothing I can't cancel, so depending how I'm feeling (and looking) we'll see about Thursday/Friday. Oh, i also need to make a dentist appointment because I think I chipped a tooth. All this cool? Hope so.
Feel free to pass this on to the rest of the team, I just figured you captain folk should know first.
The fuck is wrong with people?
Fucking coward assholes.
So yeah, objectively speaking, what Brent did was a little stupid: He basically volunteered to be mugged. But you know what, who cares. He's a hero. And in a world where so many of us feel brave enough to take on the world within the confines of the Internet, it's nice to know that some people step up to the plate in meatspace as well.
So please, don't try this at home, and please join me in wishing Brent Rose a speedy recovery. Oh, and please please please take a lesson from my solitary note on Brent's performance: If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, use your technology: Call the police instead of trying to fight four dudes single-handedly.
PS, Here is the photo Brent took of himself in the ambulance. Feel free to meme it up in the comments.