Your Facebook "Privacy Notice" Is Unenforceable Nonsense

If you have a Facebook account, you've likely seen your dull friends post some version of a "privacy notice" there recently. The idea is that posting it as your status will somehow prevent Facebook from, well, doing the things Facebook does with your information. It's nonsense. Don't be that person.

Here's the dumb block of text that's spreading like a bad rash on Facebook, typically accompanied by a plea to repost because the rules are different now that Facebook is publicly traded.

PRIVACY NOTICE: Warning - any person and/or institution and/or Agent and/or Agency of any governmental structure including but not limited to the United States Federal Government also using or monitoring/using this website or any of its associated websites, you do NOT have my permission to utilize any of my profile information nor any of the content contained herein including, but not limited to my photos, and/or the comments made about my photos or any other "picture" art posted on my profile.

You are hereby notified that you are strictly prohibited from disclosing, copying, distributing, disseminating, or taking any other action against me with regard to this profile and the contents herein. The foregoing prohibitions also apply to your employee , agent , student or any personnel under your direction or control.

The contents of this profile are private and legally privileged and confidential information, and the violation of my personal privacy is punishable by law. UCC 1-103 1-308 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WITHOUT PREJUDICE

WITHOUT PREJUDICE, LOL!

This is the online equivalent of wearing a "no fat chicks" t-shirt, and is just as enforceable. You might as well post a status update that Facebook owes you a gazillion dollars and a bigger penis for all the good it will do.

Your interactions with Facebook are governed by an agreement you previously made, that both parties entered into—even if you didn't read it. When you signed up with Facebook, you agreed to its terms of service. If you've been there for a while, you've even agreed to new terms as they've been updated over the years. That doesn't change because Facebook is a public company, and it doesn't change because you post some dumb crap on your timeline. It changes when Facebook offers new terms, and you accept them either by explicit agreement or your continued presence there.

Facebook is rapidly becoming the new email from old people. The only difference between this and spreading urban legends via email is that you're hitting share instead of forward. Just as with any email that urges you to forward it to 100 of your closest friends, any scary Facebook status update you see that begs you to repost it to your timeline is almost certainly completely bogus.

Come on, people. We already did this dance once before. Do we really have to start bookmarking Snopes again?