OK Cupid Wants You to Jump Off a BridgeS

Today's my birthday. Yaaay old drinks party Facebook shots punch hangover whatever. Anyway, this is the crap OKCupid sent me today. Which, it seems, it also sent me last year. And is going to send me every year until I die—probably from hurling myself off a building.

OK Cupid Wants You to Jump Off a Bridge

Now, I'm just fine, thank you! But man, that is really rolling the dice there, OKCupid, isn't it? Is there some kind of sadness detecting algorithm to not send this to the frantically lonely? Maybe there should be! Since, you know, you're reminding people how eternally single and alone they are on their birthday. Just a thought.