Would You Spend Two Bills to Monitor Your Personal Environment for Boogeymen?

Radiation, Nitrates, and Humidity; oh my! The Lapka Personal Environmental Monitor will be hitting store shelves late this year with a $230 price tag. It will measure the amount of radiation and number of EMF fields penetrating your personal space, while tracking the amount of nitrates (residue from industrial fertilizers) covering your salad, as well as the current temperature and humidity of the room. All of this data is then safely stored on your iPhone.

Or at least, that's what the marketing material says it can do. Marketing materials also say that should be reading this article inside your Internet-connected cybernetic mind while racing along to Mars University on your hoverboard. So what do you think, is this the real deal in personal space monitoring or just another red herring? Also, since when is the presence of nitrates the only determinant of "organic-ness"?