In a report [PDF] released by the Online Publishing Association on Monday, the standout statistic was that 68-percent of smartphone owners now say they "can't live without their smartphones." What a bunch of babies. I don't care who you are or what you do: You can live without a goddamn smartphone.
Unless I'm really in the dark about recent technological advancements, smartphones don't feed you, give you water, or provide you clothing. They don't make fire, yield medicine, or birth children. Smartphones, with their pages of apps and barely functioning "intelligent personal assistants," can't pitch you a tent in the rain or help you fend off a pack of angry hyenas. If you say you like your smartphone because it is a useful tool to help make life simpler, that makes a lot of sense. More power to you. But hammers are useful tools that make life simpler, too, and yet I can't imagine a world in which nearly 70-percent of hammer owners say they couldn't live without their nail-bangers.