Everyone is going crazy over all the new features that are being "confirmed" by Apple's website. And sure, that's fun, but we thought we'd do you one better. Instead of just telling you what will be in the iPhone 5, here's a list of what's been left on the cutting room floor.
The iPhone 5 will not come with a puppy
It will not have a kickstand
Or a sliding keyboard
For some reason, it won't come with an onboard taco
Or a Rosario Dawson
Despite rumors to the contrary, no iPhone Nexus line this year either
The exclusion of Tentacle Porn from this year's iPhone is a weird choice
We expected that it would not have Blu-ray
But the lack of a VCR caught us off guard
An iPhone girlfriend was the last hope a lot of us had. Too bad.
We're not sure what happened with the supply chain lasagna leaks