Goodbye everyone! I'm moving to the UK where I will eat my weight in chocolate. Coincidentally, Nestle's just kicked off a campaign where it's embedding GPS trackers in candy bars. If you unwrap one of six winning sweets, they'll find you within 24 hours and award you 10,000 pounds and the rights to legally change your name to Charlie Bucket.
The contest has a creepy name ("We Will Find You," normally said by the IRS or malicious exes), but it's actually a fantastic and fun way to get people to stuff their faces with junk. If you're fortunate enough to live in the UK, buy a wheelbarrow full of KitKat 4 Finger, KitKat Chunky, Aero Peppermint Mediums, and Yorkie Milk bars immediately to improve your odds. Just save some for me. [PSFK]