18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

Carbon fiber is one of mankind's greatest engineered materials. And because it's lighter and stronger than most metals, it has revolutionized everything from the aerospace industry, to auto racing, to artificial limbs. And while its distinctive woven appearance makes it even more appealing, that doesn't make it ok to use everywhere.


Even a cracked back panel on your iPhone 4 looks better than this carbon fiber decal. And you know what's lighter than carbon fiber? Putting nothing on your phone at all.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

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We haven't needed mousepads since computer mice stopped using rubber balls years ago. Particularly pointlessly expensive desk accessories like this.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

Image by K . Chan

Unless you type at a blistering 200+ words per minute, you don't a keyboard designed to endure extreme temperatures and unrelenting g-forces.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

Image by H Sterling Cross

Carbon fiber is extremely stiff when hardened, exactly the opposite of how you want a wallet stuffed full of receipts, photos, and cash to feel.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

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Do you want your marriage represented by the perfection of indestructible diamonds, or man's feeble attempt to one-up Mother Nature?

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

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Unless you've got roommates who refuse to lift it because it's too heavy, there is no gastrointestinal condition known to man that can justify the need for an ultra-durable carbon fiber toilet seat.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

Images by Carbon Fiber Gear

Why stop at a carbon fiber tissue box that can withstand the rigors of cold and flu season, when carbon fiber tissues could last for months?

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

Images by Carbon Fiber Gear

The sorcery that keeps this wine bottle balanced works just as well when it's made from wood, plastic, paper mache, or any other material that looks less ludicrous than carbon fiber.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

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The only advantage to a lightweight carbon fiber bathtub is that it's easy to carry upstairs. But the only people who can afford one can also afford someone to do all their heavy lifting for them.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

Image by Carbon Fiber Gear

What could make your heavy set of keys lighter than a carbon fiber keychain? Maybe forgoing a stupid keychain altogether.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

Image by Carbon Fiber Gear

Johnny Cash is probably rolling in his grave at this carbon fiber Blackbird Rider guitar. At least it's black?

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

Image by Blackbird

Not even Ferrari's Formula 1 racing team needs a carbon fiber toilet and bidet. And given carbon fiber can splinter, this may not actually be the most luxurious place for one's posterior.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

Image by Alberto Del Biondi

Carbon fiber is extremely lightweight, exactly what you don't want in a dog bowl. Enjoy cleaning up spilled water and food when they easily flip these.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

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Sorry gamers of the world, carbon fiber still gets sweaty. And the friends on Xbox Live you're trying to impress can't actually see your ugly controller.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

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No one's ever complained their chopsticks were too heavy. And if your intake of sashimi is so intense there's the risk of snapping a chopstick, maybe it's time to dial things back.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

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Carbon fiber is the only way to go if you want to keep whipping a horse as effectively at the end of your work day as at the start.

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

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This carbon fiber violin probably puts Stradivari's wooden creations to shame. What's that? The Stradivarius is still the most sought after instrument on earth? Then why are we building these again?

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

Image by Luis and Clark

Is this a stylish carbon fiber necklace, or a neck brace for someone who couldn't fathom being caught in a white medical apparatus after Labor Day?

18 Stupid Uses of Carbon Fiber

Images by Elsa Smith

Lead image by Leonard Carson

Image Curation by Attila Nagy