Tim Cook: "We Would Never Make a 7-Inch Tablet"

Moments ago in Apple's earnings call, Tim Cook uttered something that is, frankly, stunning in its obliviousness:

Let me be clear. We would not make one of the seven-inch tablets. We don't think they're good products, and we would never make one. Not just because it's seven inches but for many reasons. One of the reasons, however, is size.

Cook goes on to say that "The difference in just the real-estate size between the the 7.9 (almost 8) versus the 7 is 35 percent. And when you look at the usable area, it's much greater than that. It's from 50 to 67 percent." What is this "usable area," exactly? Is he talking about the back of it? Like, it's a solid surface you can use when you need to sign checks? And how you add 0.9 diagonal inches and come away with 67 percent more useable area is a conundrum that will have mathematicians scratching their heads for eons to come (okay, maybe not). Then he goes on:

"iPad mini is a fantastic product," he continues, probably throwing back another stiff drink. "It's not a compromised product like the 7-inch tablets. It's in a whole different league."

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me. You just made a 7.9-inch tablet, and you're dissing 7-inch tablets as compromised? Not only that, as we showed earlier, your 7.9-inch tablet has far fewer pixels than the competing 7-inch tablets! You're cramming a worse screen in there, charging more, and accusing others of compromise? Ballsy.

Apparently that's why you have to charge $130 more than the others. See, tablet-inches cost $144.45 each, so multiply that by 0.9 and it all makes sense.