November was once a month dominated by discount Halloween candy and the anticipation of a turkey feast. But for men across the world those have taken a back seat to growing, primping, and perfecting their facial hair for the Movember fundraising drive.
And if—like our own moustachioed staff—you've dedicated yourself to cultivating an epic soup-strainer this month, here's everything you'll need to keep it perfectly manicured. After all, your friends, family, and co-workers have pledged their hard-earned money to your cause; you don't want to let them down.
If you want to take an old-school approach to tending to your facial hair, you'll want to get yourself a well-made straight razor. Cheap out and you'll be more likely to cut your face than your whiskers. Axe-maker Baxter's Base Camp X is a gorgeous option, even if it costs more than your smartphone did. $280
Nothing beats an electric shaver for convenience, and Remington's Touch Control Beard and Stubble Trimmer will appeal to the most anal of groomers with a remarkable 175 different length settings. It can adjust from 0.4mm to 18mm with its touch-sensitive waterproof controls. $50
But who wants to wipe up little bits of moustache off the bathroom sink? With the Philips Norelco Vacuum Beard Trimmer you only have 18 different stubble lengths to choose from, but a built-in suction system totally makes up for it, guaranteeing you—and your bathroom—aren't covered in hairs after a trim. $60
Unfortunately electric trimmers don't come cheap, and if you're prone to forgetting them in hotel bathrooms, you'll want to stick with a classic and inexpensive manual razor. But you can still splurge with Shick's five-bladed Hydro Power Select with a vibrating head and gel release mechanism ensuring the rest of your face stays smooth. $10
And to squeeze as much life from your blades as possible, you'll want to keep them clean. Which is exactly what the flexible silicone surface of this razor cleaner does. It's a modern take on the leather strap used by barbers, but it looks a lot cleaner sitting on the porcelain sink in your bathroom. $25
Direct from the woodshop of Nick Offerman—aka Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson—comes this hand-carved accessory designed to keep your 'stache looking tenderly cared for all day long. And who better to know how to maintain a luxurious upper lip full of hair than Offerman? $75
If you're ok with putting your trust in technology created by an imperfect being, this Robot Barber can probably be adapted to keep your moustache looking perfectly primped. You'll just need to make sure to stomach your nervous tension because one wrong move or twitch could leave your Movember dreams sitting somewhere in a hospital emergency waiting room. Still in development.