Want to know how I know your Kickstarter project isn't going to get funded? You started with "oh hey, I didn't see you there" which, in the minds of consumers, means you're either an unobservant stooge who can't be trusted with money or we're really bad at hiding. And, as we all know, rule number one of product pitching is never insult your target audience's camouflage skills. It's a lose-lose situation.

Then again, maybe the world simply doesn't need another goddamn iPad handle:

This Is the Single Worst Way to Begin Your Kickstarter PitchS

[Laughing Squid]