14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones

So we used to have these things called landlines, which were phones that you didn't take with you everywhere and that you actually used to talk to people. Some of them didn't even look like phones.

Here are some of our favorite incognito novelty handsets of yore. Warning: will cause extreme nostalgia.


Garfield: Hates Mondays, loves lasagna and *69.

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


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The Duck phone had a minor resurgence thanks to Jersey Shore.

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


Image credit: eBay

A Lips phone made more sense when people actually used the things for talking.

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


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The legendary Hamburger phone was arguably the best thing about Juno.

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


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And let's not forget the burger's fast food and/or telecom cousin, the Hot Dog phone.

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


Image credit: YeahFlashback

All the cool bros at your high school definitely got the official NFL Football dialer as part of their Sports Illustrated subscription.

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


Image credit: SteelersFever

Clear phones were also popular among the 90s cool tween crowd.

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


Image credit: Etsy

The talking Homer Simpson phone, perfect for pranking Moe's Tavern

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


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Is it possible to take someone seriously knowing they're chatting on a rhinestone-studded high heel?

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


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Yes, the Double Bubble phone is a working gum ball machine.

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


Image credit: Novelty Telephone

Which is why it's extra sad that the Budweiser phone is not a working beer.

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones

Image credit: Novelty Phones


It's not easy being a Kermit phone.

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


Although there are many, many M&M-themed phones, this one is the best because it comes with a candy dish.

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


Image credit: Amazon

And what list of novelty products is complete without some Star Wars paraphernalia?

14 Ridiculously Retro Novelty Phones


Image credit: Amazon