Butt-On With the Magical Machine That Finds the Perfect Pair of Jeans

Anyone with legs and a butt knows finding a pair of pants that fits just right is challenging. No two bodies—or jeans for that matter—are alike. But Me-Ality is a magical machine that takes just 10 seconds to tell you exactly which brands, styles, and sizes are your perfect match.

Bloomingdale's recently installed Me-Ality sizing booths in the women's denim departments of several of its locations. I made a trip up to the 59th Street store in Manhattan this morning to give the virtual tailor a try. And it might have changed my life.

Butt-On With the Magical Machine That Finds the Perfect Pair of JeansS

Here's how it works: You stand still inside a big white, glass-windowed booth that looks like an adapted version of the elevator from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with your hands by your side. A big wand passes by you twice to collect 200,000 measurements. The booth uses light radio waves (the equivalent of 1/1000th of a phone call, says Me-Ality's PR head) to detect the moisture in your skin to sniff out your size. You don't have to strip down or wear any special suit or anything, but if you're wearing heels, you'll have to slip them off because it will throw the height detection off.

Butt-On With the Magical Machine That Finds the Perfect Pair of JeansS

After a painless 10 seconds, a kiosk on the side of the machine gives you a custom barcode that holds all your size data. Scan it, and a screen will show you all the jeans that are supposed to be right for you. The results are pretty spot-on. And you can cull through your choices as you like, adding filters like style, brand, rise, and so forth. Don't like bootcuts? They're gone. Only want to see Seven for All Mankind jeans? Done. Then print out the list and hand it off to a salesperson, who will pull the pants you want. And then comes the fun part—actually trying them on.

Butt-On With the Magical Machine That Finds the Perfect Pair of JeansS

Butt-On With the Magical Machine That Finds the Perfect Pair of JeansS

Butt-On With the Magical Machine That Finds the Perfect Pair of JeansS

Butt-On With the Magical Machine That Finds the Perfect Pair of JeansS

We can all agree trying on clothes isn't always fun. It sucks when something doesn't fit right, but usually it's the clothes fault. But the jeans Me-Ality picks for you are perfect. What's not to like about every pair of jeans you slip into looking good and feeling good? It's like no shopping experience I've ever had. Every single pair of jeans the machine scoped out for me fit like they were custom tailored to my body. (Seriously, I made note of two of the seven pair of jeans I tried so I can go back and buy them). Admittedly, I love to shop, but Me-Ality made the experience even more fun. And efficient!

Bloomingdale's only has Me-Ality booths in the women's denim departments right now, and there are also several standalone stations located in malls around the country. You can check for one in your area here. But once the machine sizes you, you'll have an profile, so you can use your data to shop online from more than 150 different brands for clothing like dresses, shirts, or whatever you like. I can't rave enough about Me-Ality. Which means it's more or less a weapon of mass destruction as far as our credit cards are concerned.

Photos by Michael Hession