It is July 9, which means we're entering Deep Summer. This is mosquito season. Barbecue season. Our jeans have been jorted and our coffees have ice in them. We should have a definitive Song of Summer by this point. Yet we do not.
The default frontrunner is the irritating/overdone "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea, and we are better than that, my friends. My colleagues and I have tried to push forward some alternative contenders, but so far, there's simply nothing appropriate. I fear there will never be a consensus on the definitive summer jam of 2014.
Nature abhors a vacuum. Something must be done. Remember when David Duchovny quit The X-Files but they replaced him with the mean-looking Terminator guy and then they were like LOL JK and Mulder returned from the dead? (Spoilers, I guess.)
Well, this is like that. Sometimes you have to go back to the old thing that you thought was long gone and finished. Then that thing comes back and demands a lady on the street but a freak in the bed.
This is all to say I'm declaring 2014's Song of Summer to be 2004's Song of Summer, "Yeah" by Usher feat. Lil Jon and Ludacris.
"Yeah" is an immaculate crunk masterpiece masterminded by Lil Jon long before he was questioning the rationale behind the choice to turn down. Listen to "Yeah" and be transported back to a simpler time, a time before Usher sullied his reputation by unleashing the angel-voiced swag demon Justin Bieber upon us.
On a one-to-ten it's a certified twenty, and even though it came out earlier that year, it dominated the radio that summer like nothing else.