Here is a sad fact about my life: I order a disgusting, vile, shocking amount of internet delivery food. Like even if I were trapped in a block of concrete, it'd still be excessive. Which is why I need this.

SeamlessWeb's I'm-so-pathetic-and-hungry-and-lazy-that-I-can't-open-my-browser USB button would be one of the greatest tech blessings I've ever received. Is that a bleak statement about my existence? Yes. Do I want one of these? Yes. Will I probably use it a lot? Yes. Will I be wearing pants? Doubtful. [via Twitter]