Buying an iPhone is not confusing. You have a 50% shot of getting it right (unlike the 100% success rate you'd had a few months ago). But if you still need help in deciding which iPhone is best, here's how we would rank them all.
1. iPhone 5S
2. iPhone 5
UPSET! Why? Aluminum beats plastic.
3. iPhone 5C
4. iPhone 4S
It was better than the one before it.
5. iPhone 4
It was also better than the one before it.
6. iPhone 3GS
It was also also better than the one before it.
7. iPhone 3G
It was also also also better than the one before it.
Aluminum beats plastic but 2G loses to 3G.
Head here for our complete ranking of Android phones.