I suppose this is the right bed for you if you prefer to pleasure partners like you're a character in a supernatural slasher film or in an '80s metal music video—but I digress. The bed, nightstand and wall lamp combo are handcrafted from rotten teak planks, which provides ideal cavities to embed LEDs (a clear epoxy material generates the light color effect). Guys with little taste and lots of money can score a set for $7,500. [Treecycled Furniture via Born Rich]

The BedBunker is a 1300lb 10 gauge steel strongbox that locks your arsenal away safely with a hydraulic gas-assist piston—even in a fire. Withstanding up to 1533 degrees for 2 hours, the BedBunker keeps your guns safe from your extensive napalm collection, making $2,200+ a small price to pay for a good night of your guns' sleep. [BedBunker via Uncrate via OhGizmo!]

Loaded with a variety of multicolored LEDs, you can change the hue of the luminotherapy bed with the touch of a remote. The resulting colors, such as pink, blue and green will make your lover glow with all the vibrancy of a Star Trek Original Series alien babe. Well, that, or they'll give you night terrors of being stuck on a Cylon base ship (before they got all lovey hippie on the humans) or a painfully hipster sushi joint. [phillipe boulet via Unplggd]

The bed was originally developed for a wealthy international customer that wanted to keep a handgun close by at all times, but it is just as useful for keeping you valuables secure. The safe can be added to any Hollandia bed for around $400, but the beds themselves can run in excess of $20,000. As an alternative, you could always pick up a pair of skid marked security briefs for around $6. It's probably just as effective. [Hollandia via Born Rich]

If that doesn't have you vaulting to the phone to place an order already, perhaps the understated Akva sales pitch will sway you: "Feel the gallop thundering through your body — sense the blast from take-off, or lose yourself in the giddying sensation of hovering with eagles in the sky. It is all just motion picture make believe, of course - but when you are lying in your waterbed with its built-in loudspeakers, you feel like Harry Potter on the Hippogriff's back." Hear that? This bed feels like mounting a Hippogriff. SOLD. [Akva Sound]

[Hi-Can via Likecool]

Fortunately, Mehdi Mojtabvi's Love Mattress offers a genius solution involving polyurethane-injected foam strips that allow arms and feet to fit snugly in the gaps. Apparently, the latter would be good for those who tend to sleep on their stomachs—but it doesn't take a vivid imagination to think of some other uses for that kind of traction. Too bad it is only a concept at this point. [Gooya Design via Freshome via Inventor Spot]

Pricing details have not been made available, but my guess is that it won't come anywhere near cheap. It you are willing to drop some serious cash on the Gravity Zero, rest assured that it will be available in a variety of colors. [Gravity Zero via Born Rich via UberReview]

The stand itself consists of easy-to-assemble leg pieces and a big wooden tray that holds the laptop. The legs are adjustable by way of a twist-screw and can be set at anywhere between 5 and 90 degrees.

After using it for a week (and using it to type up this review) we're definitely sold on the idea.

Although you could definitely use the LapDawg on your desk as a stand, that's not its main purpose. The primary idea is to tilt your laptop while you're lying or sitting so that you can both type and see easier than if it were on your lap. Plus, with the wooden stand, a hot laptop no longer means a lowered sperm count.

When we were lying on the bed, the wide legs provided ample room for our own legs to go. The 45-degree angle we set it at made it easy to both type and see the screen. Our only complaint was having to put a magazine under our MacBook Pro because it didn't rise high enough on the stand. The laptop holder at the bottom jammed our wrists otherwise.

As for using it the couch, you'd probably want to set the angle a bit shallower than 45 degrees, but it still retains much of its usefulness. However, if you transition regularly from bed to desk and need to adjust the angle accordingly, you may find the twist-screws on the LapDawg a bit clumsy. Better to set it once than have to change it all the time.

Unless you also enjoy working from bed or in some other prone position, the $79.99 + $20 may be a bit steep. But if you do, the wooden finish and secure legs makes the LapDawg quite useful. – Jason Chen

Product Page [LapDawg]

Product Page [via Coolest Gadgets]

I slept on a ratty old imitation Japanese futon through years of college, and my neck and back still haven't forgotten the spongy cotton bed. I might try one again, but only if it's Panasonic's $2000 Programmable Pleasant Sleep Mattress. Hit the "Good Night" button and the 8 computer controlled airbags rise and fall sequentially over 10 minutes, stretching out your bod. There's even a foot warming function so you can lose the socks at night. Just make sure you don't activate the tentacle penetration mode, or you'll be sorry.–Brian Lam

Panasonic's Programmable Pleasant Sleep Mattress [Tokyo Mango and The Raw Feed]

Also built into the bed, an electronic leveling system. The only downside, as it usually is with cool products, is the price. $25,900 for this bed. We don't think many people would buy a bed that's worth more than their cars. – Jason Chen

Uber-Cool Luxury Bed [uber review]

Although the bed is useful and practical, it doesn't look very sturdy. Even with the new "metal bed frame" and "wooden slate foundation", a well-fed fellow would probably be too much for the joints and come collapsing down all his equipment.

Available now for $2079.

The Computer Bed [Euro FlyingBeds via Sagags]

Foldable bed and shelf [swissmiss]

It moves like a hospital bed, with either electrical or hydraulic mechanisms, and it has an option for a hydraulically-controlled night light. You can even tilt up the top part of the bed, just to elevate your head. (Didn't we see something like this in 2001: A Space Odyssey?) It also has Bedmate, a flip-top ottoman-like unit that has a 19" flat panel screen on its lid and a DVD/CD player with Sony PlayStation inside. Too bad it's not voice-controlled. "Elevate my head, Hal."

Product page [via Trendir]

New Modular Bed System by Maude [Born Rich]

Product Page [Maude]

If this iPod compatible bed—named "Pause"— doesn't get you laid, then you aren't visiting PodDater enough. The iPod and a Bose speaker system fit seamlessly into the shelves, and the thing is made of New Zealand Rimu, for Pete's sake.

The Pause. The Pod. The Music. [RedFerret]