Gizmodo
A couple of weeks back, our Dear Leader Blam sent round an email asking the team what we wanted for Christmas. So I thought. And I thought. And all I could come up with was this:
• A new sofa coverZOMG—no gadgets!?!!?? came Blam's astonished reply. Feckity feck, I muttered, my secret is out. So I backpedalled:
• A cute, copper-colored snakeskin clutch—that's a handbag, not something found on a car—by Luella
• A pile of new books (or just an Amazon gift certificate, actually)
• Some fabulously sexy piece of art to hang on the wall
Well, I typed, at a push I'd like an iPod classic, because my old 60GB, video-free version is a bit rickety, but it does still work, so I think I'll wait until the sad, dead-iPod face appears on the screen. And my other half, Jesus, has been tempting me with the iPhone (like any of you are surprised). He is right; I do need a new phone as my horrible Motorola currently has a battery life of around 10 minutes and I HATE IT, I REALLY HATE IT, but since the iPhone hasn't got 3G, I thought I'd wait until Mk 2 comes out. But apart from that? Nope, nothing.
My gadgets are as follows: one sickly iPod; one MacBook; one shitty original Motorola RAZR that I will feed to the gadget-eating unicorns once I can be bothered to get a new phone. We've also got a TomTom for the car, but I lost the charger for it, so that's that, and, truth be told, we don't need it because I'm pretty damn good at map-reading.
Gadgets are my job. I write about this stuff from morning to night, so when it comes to going-home time, I'm pretty happy to close my laptop and start on a book. And no, before you suggest a Kindle, I love books. I like them stacked up dustily in my house, I like making them dog-eared and sticky-paged and taking them places. And another confession: I am the clumsiest git in the world, so an iPhone/Kindle/Thanko USB Trouserpress will probably suffer a bathwater-electronics interface in the first week.
Just because I don't want a gadget for Christmas doesn't necessarily mean that I begrudge everyone else their bundles of bytes and pixels. My husband is of course crazy about stuff like this, hence the iPhone, the brand new iMac that we don't really have room for, the Nintendo DS—all three of them, actually—and the remote-controlled Mario Kart that drives the mutt nuts when we play with it. Both my father-in-law and my brother have gone crazy over the iPhone, my bro changing his service provider in order to get his hands on one, the f-i-l sending someone over to NY to pick one up for him to use in Spain.
Nevertheless, Blam's question bugged me for several days, until I remembered one stand-out Christmas present from my childhood, when I was eight or so.
My parents weren't quite altruistic enough to buy me a drum kit I'd asked for, but they did buy me a cheapo cassette player. Not some fabulous ghetto blaster that I could strut around the bad-ass farm track at home with, like Radio Rakeem, but a tiny little mono version, and three tapes: The Jungle Book; and The Young Person's Guide(s) to Mozart and Beethoven which, when I think about it, must have honed my obsession with '70s disco, funk, Chicago House and the Sugarhill Gang.
Crap tapes aside, I hearted my tape player. I hearted it with everything I had. I took it to school to show off in the playground, duly getting it confiscated for a week—no more Baloo for you, you wicked girl—and it remained the closest thing to heaven. I can't even remember what brand it was, probably something uber-shonk, like Alba, or Crown. But I loved it. I customized it with my sister's carmine nail polish, stuck cute Japanese stickers on it, and graffiti'd the sides in gold pen that made me high when I got too close to the nib. Until one fateful day three years later, when I snapped off the red record button while singing à la Siouxie Sioux into the mic.
So, I'm sorry, dear Gizmodo readers, who imagine their perky AM gadget reporter to be as plugged in as the Borg Queen herself. The truth is, a quarter-century on, I can't think of anything made of metal, plastic and silicon which lights up, bleeps, or goes "Pew Pew," which will bring me anywhere near to the joy of Christmas back then, and that dear, beautiful ultra-cheap cassette deck.
Happy Holidays!
Comments
Aww your iPod turned to crap too? My Nano's headphone jack died and I can't fix it without replacing the jack itself so I asked for the Touch for Christmas. I need the extra space anyways but I don't need a massive hard drive in it either. Also I need a new mouse. The stupid thing sends like, five clicks whenever you press it so I can't click and drag anymore.
That sound fair enough, you enjoy all that. Just keep doing what you do at work...I read Gizmodo all day!
Addy, you don't want a classic. They do not work well. They certainly don't work as well as the 5.5. The classic is a dud.
Paper books rule, to be sure, Addy.
(Hardbound doubly so if it's snowing outside.)
The only thing I really want is either a Dell or a Samsung 22" wide screen monitor for our main PC, but I'm not pushing it and don't know if anyone knows, so I'm not really sweating it either.
There are always deals going down after the holidays.
Tech gifts for my wife have been hit and miss.
The only slam dunk was the Sansa E-280. Her entire collection is on there with room to spare and it's been flawless for her. (My E-280 is just as great.)
The Palm Pilot (aka the solitaire machine (!) ) and portable DVD player didn't go over as well in the long run, though I think I'm gonna use the DVD player for it's LCD monitor and stereo amp capabilities.
Lord knows playing "Deal or No Deal) on the thing is a painful process, and I've encoded all of our movies already.
You really can't go wrong with an amazon gift card. Its just so versatile.
You're going to love the PS3 Jesus got you for Christmas - oh, I've blown the surprise. Sorry.
@Haroon_Malik: Well, we need a new water boiler. All that bloody english tea.
suck it up cupcake, im still stuck on the StarTRAC my parents got for me. they're too cheap to update the plan they had from god knows how long ago
amazon prime makes an AWESOME gift, especially if you do the family version (5 accounts for $80 b/c it's family comes to $16 for each prime account)
I would just like to say that i had a RAZR until the battery wouldn't last longer than an average phone call. It's a piece let me tell you.
I feel that Christmas was a different world when I used to get simple toys, like the entire collection of star wars action figures. For the next couple of days life would be grand. Now it's "Merry Christmas" here is a wireless router, go wild." Obviously not nearly as fun.
@jesusdiaz: Hey, there's nothing wrong with english tea!
@Addy and Jesus:
Strange, you're kinda like my girlfriend and me from your description Addy, funny.
I didn't know that you two are married though, blimey, I really am new to Giz.
@strider_mt2k: "Paper books rule, to be sure, Addy.
(Hardbound doubly so if it's snowing outside.)"
True Sir.
There's nothing better than a cup of hot tea or hot chocolate, a fire burning in the fireplace, my girlfriend next to me and a good old fashioned book in my hands.
(I know from a trustable source, that I'm going to be presented with some kind of anniversary edition of "The Hobbit" on Christmas Eve, can't wait.)
I tried and tried to think of a gadget that would somehow sneak into your heart, but found I could not. I think I like gadgets BECAUSE they are gadgets, and thus there is no way to force that into someone else.
Well written piece, by the way; phrases like "uber-shonk" and "graffiti'd the sides in gold pen that made me high when I got too close to the nib" really brings a human touch that we techheads so often forget about ;]
Haha, I just noticed the "Jezebel" tag on this entry ;]
I will trade my new Classic for a Zune 80. Anyone up?
Didn't think so.
I feel ya, good stuff is good. Books are good, and I am not getting that new HDTV, so no other gadgets are gonna do it for me this year.
P.S.
I have too many computers.
Consider this the "My-husband-can-photoshop-you-out-of-existence-so-stop-lusting-my-naughty-bits-and-bytes"
post.
No meaness are you a guy or girl?
@CoolZWhip: ...really?
Anyway, a no gadget Christmas doesn't have to be a bad thing. If I wrote about them all day I might not want them, but I just drool over them all day so its kind of different...
This was like the Charlie Brown Christmas of Giz articles and I loved it.
Really good stuff.
great "do the right thing" reference.
thank god for the left nipple!
bluethooth headset? griffin portable speaker ipod dock?
Yay Ad! I have never been inspired to comment on Giz, but it was so refreshing to hear the resident chic say it like it is! Wilson has been trying to upgrade my Motorola clunker cell phone for years, but I keep holdin' on. One of the many items I use to embarrass him in public. Keep the columns coming!
That was a wonderful write-up. We need more of these now and then. Happy holidays to you.
Well, I'm gonna get me a USB LP player so I can digitize my original Rapper's Delight from 1979 with all the hiss, crackle, and pop, but mostly my beloved U-Brown's original Revelation Time and London Rock from way back, that are still unavailable on CD (will they ever be?). Them I'll get the Pleo to make some cool moves on the beat.
@Le0nidas: Does that answer my question?
For my sister: Guitar Hero (Got the 4 y.o. niece a Wii, because I want everything to be broken at the house).
My parents...I got them Leoptard for their Mac. It was supposed to be easy. But they are getting old...and it's hard to do anything 7000 miles away.
Me...I already have all the tech I want. I'd just love to go home. Screw the iPod, or the 360 I don't have. I got an old one off eBay after my 40GB 3G iPod died, and I'm good.
I miss my old Technics turntable...
Merry Christmas!
@CoolZWhip: i'll give you a hint, he/she is not gay and has a husband
@CoolZWhip: who do you think the girl in the photo is? The Pope?
uhmm...
So... I don't mind that your best gift ever wasn't some kind of uber-gadget, but I've got to say that your almost total indifference towards getting more gadgets is kinda weird for someone writing for a gadget blog.
Nice article. i totally agree with the books thing.
And it's fine to not always want gadgets! I think everyone has to step back once in awhile and tell themselves they're just pieces of plastic and sillicon.
@Sqube: But it is that sort of contrast that makes a good gadget writer. Somebody who can look past the lust of the gadget, and look at raw functionality.
I might get a phone with a qwerty keyboard, I really want one so that...actually I don't know why, except that I can type things on it with one hand on the bus or subway...but I'm not sure whether I need to do that....grr...I just want one, gadget lust.
Yes! a good book is always good to have around! and, the batteries never die! Right now I'm reading The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy minicab, then after that it's the last Potter book, then Orson Scott Cards latest book in the Ender's Shadow series(Cause Bean is awesome) and finally I'm finishing up with the entirety of The Dark Tower series by Stephen King. I even wanna cram reading Battlefield Earth again in there somewhere if I can.
@Addy: Nice! And I'm with you on books that don't need a battery.
But what then drives you to write about gadgets? Is it an abstraction? A gig? Do you write about Platonic ideals with little concern for Earthly shadows? Is Jesus forcing you and we should make a phone call? Are you like Anton Ego, the food critic in "Ratatouille" ("I don't like food, I love it, and if I don't love it, I don't swallow")? Is the gravity of gender stereotypes too strong to overcome, bending the very fabric of time, space and female gadget writers away from the subject of their work? Is it that you're jaded or, on the other hand, entirely content? Are you bothered by an obsessive need to keep every single box for everything you buy, and are simply running out of space? Or is there nothing more than meets the eye, and I'm about to be banned for psychobabbling?
I have been reading for months. I love this site - makes me laugh in my down time after work and the kids fall asleep. I am interested in what's new, but only have a couple gadgets myself. Is "wii" pronounced "we" or "why"? I can't figure it out.
What prompted the post is the shared experience / memory of the very best christmas gift I ever received. Around the same age, obviously a pivotal time for gifts such as this, I got a small Sony boom box. My first personal music machine. I finally could control what I listened to and when. I could take it anywhere. I loved it like concentrated Shaun Cassidy marinated in Peter Frampton with a dash of Leif Garrett (now that should date me right). I played that thing incessantly, radio and whatever tapes I could get with my meager earnings. It played day and night. Those speakers teethed on a bizarre diet of jethro tull to beethoven, george clinton to the british invasion, the cars, the kinks, the soundtrack to my fair lady. I stuck it with with all sorts stickers. First the antenna broke. Then the handle broke. Then the record button broke. That sucked because I used it to record song ideas bashed out on my old acoustic guitar. It got covered with glue and paint. It still plays back though. I know. It is still in my basement packed up with my electric guitars and drums that I put away when the kids toys took over.
Thanks so much for that great memory. Thinking about that boom box again is a great gift.
@jesusdiaz: If it is, I'm converting.
Anybody who wants to get rid of fairly recent technological gadgets when they get this year's model can ship 'em to me.
As much as the Kindle and eReaders are very cool, I love the feel of books. I love flipping the pages as I read. I love knowing I am progressing through the book and can see how many pages I have left. The physical aspect of books for me is important and I'm not sure if eReaders will ever match it.
@Jason Chen: nice! lol.
I could take that TomTom off your hands...
@Jason Chen: "@jesusdiaz: If it is, I'm converting."
"This is blasphemy, this is madness!"
- "Madness, huh!?! THIS IS CATHOLICISM"
And now imagine Pope Benedict shouting this.
(Oh, and before anyone tries to stone me to death, virtually, I would like to say that I am a believing catholic.)
@mangochutney: "I didn't know that you two are married" . Me neither, that explains lots in the order of the giz universe.
But where's the hot half naked pictures of Jesus?
And that, Addy, is the true meaning of Joy. Happy Holidays.
@dysthymia: exactly what it explains?
Tell Brian Lam to give me his new mailing address so I can send him this Yule IED.
Wow. Due to being forgetfull, I had my cable and phone turned off this weekend. Due to these two things being gone at once, I did a technology free weekend. No phone, no cell, no TV, no Wii, No Ipod, no laptop. Just myself, a swiffer, and a good book.
Honestly...
Best weekend I have had in years.
Gizmo's are great, but all of us need a break now and again.
@Shabba: Let me ask you this.
Good as in James Joyce's "Ulysses" good?
or good as in "Harry Potter" good?
@Pope John Peeps II: excuse my ignorance, but where is the difference?
A good book is a good book, if you enjoy it.
@jesusdiaz: Can we get some "ADDY FOR POPE" t-shirts or at least a fun Photoshop out of the whole thing?
Mmmmm, sacrilicious...