Gizmodo: Boobies

The Boob Luge, You Know, For Drinking

Mark Wilson — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 20:00:00 EDT

In the words of a Boob Luge ad: "Just fill the breast mold with water, and in two days, you will have two rock hard boobs waiting to be filled with an alcoholic beverage of your choice!"

In case the prospect of two "rock hard" breasts pouring ice cold liquor into your mouth isn't enticing enough, the pitch gets even better: "You can even spice up your Boob Ice Luge by adding LED Pucks..."

Splendid.

In case your frat is interested in a Boob Luge to call its own, the ice molds are available now for $25 a pop, or roughly $12.50 a boob. [DrinkingStuff via NerdApproved]

The Unofficial Boobies DS Holder

Mark Wilson — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 11:50:00 EDT

Their old world yarn craftsmanship brings new meaning to the phrase "sweater kittens"—hard to believe that this ~~one~~ two-of-a-kind holder is not for sale. [photobucket via WiiNooB Thanks Jamie!]

Japanese Boob Claw Machine is Another Bad Way to Claw At Boobs

Jason Chen — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:30:00 EDT

Almost mistaken for a pile of onions, these prizes in a Japanese boob claw machine beat almost every stuffed animal we can think of in terms of uniqueness.

We're not sure where it is, or how easy it is to pick up a boob compared to something less arousing, but we're going to have Ashcraft win one of these and mail it to us. He wrote the book on Japanese Arcades; he should be able to fish a boob out of a box NO PROBLEM. [Buzzfeed via Fleshbot]

Give Me Beer 'N Boobs or Give Me Death

Andi Wang — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 15:00:00 EST

Have you ever had to decide between boobs or beer? With these edible beer-flavored Beer N' Boobs pasties, you'll never have to choose one over the other ever again. Yum. [Product Page via Nerd Approved]

Prosthetic Nipples Add That Winter Glow All Year Long

Mark Wilson — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:00:00 EST

Even with a perfect figure, it can be difficult to draw attention in the era of outpatient cosmetic surgery. Luckily the Nipple Pheromone is here to help.

If ditching the bra and dropping the ambient temperature to a brisk 35 degrees hasn't done the trick, or if nature has simply not provided you with nipples that can protrude sensually from your otherwise PG business casual sweater, the Nipple Pheromone can level the playing field so you can compete with that new, hot cleavage chick from HR. After all, you are an educated, hard-working, handsome man. And dammit, you deserve that promotion. [Tokyo Times]

This Japanese Breast Pillow Is Relaxing and Erotic (Eraxing?)

Jason Chen — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 19:40:00 EST

The only thing better than sleeping on a woman's lap is sleeping betwixt a woman's boobs. This Japanese boob pillow is the only way most people can do this without actually crushing said woman. [TokyoTimes]

NSFW: Boob App on the iPhone is Obviously Called iBoobs, Obviously Not Approved

Jason Chen — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:35:06 EST

Sir? Could I interest you in a boobs app for your iPhone? Perhaps one that's motion sensitive, so you can jiggle it at will?

Ooooh, I'm sorry. It's not possible. Apple has denied our application on the grounds that it's either obscene, pornographic, offensive or defamatory. Apologies!

Maybe with the upcoming NSFW category in the iPhone App store you may get a chance to jiggle me for yourself, but I wouldn't count on it. [iPhone Ticker via Macenstein via Kotaku]

DSi Camera, Designed for Adolescent Boobie Humor

Mark Wilson — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:00:00 EST

We didn't quite get the DSi's bundled Camera editing software—exactly what's the point of stretching a body part with lame animations—and then we watched this semi NSFW clip. I'm not saying that we "get it" now, but we're certainly a few steps closer to penetrating the unique design minds of Nintendo engineers.

For those who didn't catch it, the joke is that they bounce. [via Kotaku]

Fingers On: Pervy Japanese 'Boob Engineer's' Breast-Fondling App For iPhone

John Mahoney — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:20:00 EDT

Not satisfied with the amount of boob-touching going on in real life, a Japanese programmer after my own heart created paiTouch (oh wit! pai = slang for boobs)—an iPhone touchscreen version of his much more intensive Flash simulator complete with motion physics algorithms for "realistic" jiggling and plenty of customizable parameters.

The iPhone webapp port runs in javascript and is a little jerky—if it looks like you're pushing an unresponsive milk puddle around a black screen, you would be right—a far cry from the "oppai enjinia's" promised "Tits always in the pocket" (Google Translate's words not mine!). But hats off for trying. Check the Flash version here (pretty much SFW, aside from the creep-o factor) for the true experience. [Technohippy (Translated) via CrunchGear]

iPhone's Breast Feeding App Has a Nice Icon

Jason Chen — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Haha, boobies. [Apple]

Even More Booth Babes from CES 2008

Charlie White — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:16:19 EST

You're telling us you can't get enough of the booth babedom, so we found a few more shots from the letches at Think Computers. Check out this drop-dead gorgeous woman here up front, along with two more on the next page—but you'll have to mosey on over to the Think Computers site for 29 more.

We noticed fabulous ladies all over the show floor—both booth babes and others—but we'd have to agree with Adam that not one of them swayed our opinions about anything. Well, except about how long it had seemed since we'd been at home with our real women. [Think Computers]

Mitsubishi Laser TV's Colors Look Even Juicier Than the Girls on the Set

Charlie White — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 03:29:56 EST

Mitsubishi put together quite a spectacle to introduce its Laser TV last night at the Moon Nightclub at The Palms Hotel in Las Vegas, unveiling a 65-inch rear-projection set that uses a unique laser backlight. The result is some of the most vivid color we've ever seen on any TV, especially the primary colors of red, green and blue. The blacks were midnight-dark, too, and there was even a 3D version of the TV (goofy glasses required) that only made us slightly cross-eyed. Mits officials said to look for the TV to appear on the market "later this year" at an undisclosed price, and added that it will cost about the same as flat panel TVs of the same size. On the next page, let's explore how this laser backlight works and gawk at a slightly NSFW gallery.

When pressed for details, they kept repeating their mantra about laser being the "purest light source," but from what we could see, we think it must have something to do with hot-looking dancing girls, frickin' lasers, smoke and maybe even mirrors. We were taking shots of the TVs, but all these women kept getting in our way. Oh, well.

Porn Coming to Blu-ray; PS3 Owners, Jason Chen Very Excited

Adam Frucci — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 12:53:44 EST

The porn industry, having steered clear of Blu-ray and successfully put out titles on HD DVD for the past year, has decided to give the competing HD format a shot. Digital Playground has plans to release Pirates, an adaptation of Treasure Island as I understand it, on BR as its first foray into the format.

Previously, Digital Playground and other porny companies avoided Blu-ray because it's more expensive to produce for and because the Blu-ray camp had its sensibilities offended by the naughty nature of the content. Apparently they got over it when they woke up and realized how much money porn makes, and with the format war far from being over, the porn industry, a big fan of money, decided to just put material out on both. Now both camps can enjoy bruises and razor burn in beautiful 1080p high definition. [CE Pro]

Dartboard Lets You Score a Boobie Bullseye

Charlie White — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 11:26:36 EST

Throwing darts has never been this fun. Not only do you get the satisfaction of hitting a bull's-eye if your aim is true, but as soon as you score, this supremely confident blond encourages you, crying out in ecstasy the inexplicable phrase, "Young girl, bull's-eyes! Wonderful!" Even though it is a bit misogynistic for our taste, it's just goofy enough to get a conversation going. Why didn't the creators of this groundbreaking invention depict a man with a bull's-eye on his crotch? Maybe that's next, with the hapless plastic victim blurting out the exclamation, "Old man, ballbuster! Blow it out your ass!" [Weird Asia News]

My Chopsticks Bra on Video Makes Me Hungry

Charlie White — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 11:05:09 EST

Since we showed you the My Chopsticks Bra earlier this week, a video has surfaced, giving us a closer look at exactly how the "concept undergarment" works. The fact of the matter is, it doesn't work; the bowls are just a decorative flourish instead of containers for real food. Indeed, there are chopsticks that are stowed away in a small pouch attached to the side, and when it's time to eat, you assemble them like collapsed pool cues. It's just that rice and miso soup won't be on that menu. Yeah, this garment makes us hungry in a strange sort of way. [Pink Tentacle]

Top 10 Sexiest Halloween Costumes for 2007

Charlie White — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:00:00 EDT

In honor of the autumnal season and one of our favorite pastimes, here's a roundup of the Top 10 Sexiest Halloween Costumes in the entire world. After all, Halloween is a holiday for goblins, geeks, goons, weirdos, trolls and merrymakers of all stripes, so we knew the Giz readership wouldn't mind if we posted a few non-gadget costume pics (I can see Blam rolling his eyes already). And hey, it's gadget-y, too—heck, one of these babes is wearing handcuffs, isn't she? Anyway, we're not sure if it's the costumes themselves or those comely lasses who are wearing them, but either way, we find each costume appealing in its own inimitable way. Check out the gallery after the jump, which includes a few NSFW shots, so beware.

Boob-Shaped Cushions Could Almost Turn Me Lesbian

AddyDugdale — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 10:36:41 EDT

Most people think that all boobs are cushions, but these Funwari Milk-chan, or Fluffy Milk, are real boob cushions. Like the real thing, they come in all different shapes and sizes. Unlike the real thing, however, they're furry. There are five different boobs to choose from, each with its own character:

Funwari Milk-chan, in the center, is easy-going, but would like to be bigger than she is. Likes: collagen, sleeping. Top left is Can Milk-san is a wannabe celeb with an American boyfriend (that'll be Chen, then) who loves beauty salons.

Below her is Ganguro Milk-chan who, despite her pierced nipple is mature and level-headed. Loves dancing, apparently. Peach Milk-chan is an arachnophobic fashion victim who's pretty frightening when she's angry, is up on current affairs and loves low-brow stuff — um, sounds like me. Finally Miko-chan is the baby of the group, and a total genius. She loves to invent things, and her brain is in her pacifier.

Their official website is rather fabulous, full of slightly odd drawings of boobs standing on each other and toppling over, boobs in sunglasses, singing boobs as well as ~~boobs beating their friends at Halo 3~~ cartoon strips of the Milk Village quintet's exploits. They cost around $9 each in, yep, Japan. And before you accuse me of being sensationalist, I would just like to say that I was made to write that headline by one of our editors. [Fumiwari Milk via Pink Tentacle]

Buy a Zune, Fight Breast Cancer

Charlie White — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 18:50:00 EDT

Since we're such breast fans here at the Giz, we wouldn't think of letting Breast Cancer Awareness Month pass by without a mention. The best news is you can celebrate boobies, get yourself a 30GB limited edition pink Zune, and fight breast cancer at the same time. Unlike some other charitable music-player-selling schemes that only donate a measly 5% of their proceeds to charity, when you buy a 30GB Zune from Warriors in Pink, 100% of the purchase price goes to Susan G. Koman For the Cure, thanks to the generosity of Ford and Microsoft. Breast cancer is no laughing matter, and we figure anything we can do to promote and preserve breasts and the lovely women on which they reside is time well spent. The pink 30GB Zune is $250 ($50 more than retail for a 30GB Zune), but it's for a worthy cause. [Warriors in Pink]

'Call Me' Panty Holds That Vibrating Cellphone Close to Her Hot Spot (NSFW)

Charlie White — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 10:15:00 EDT

Ladies, what on earth are you going to do with that cellphone when all you're wearing is a dainty pair of unmentionables? How will you carry it around and still have both hands free? Here's the solution: the Call Me panty, a dual-purpose garment that adds new meaning to the phrase "eagerly awaiting your call." Just set that handset on vibrate, slip it into the Call Me panty's perfect-sized front pouch, and even telemarketer interruptions will be welcome. Let's take a look at a couple of NSFW videos of these kangaroo-like panties in action, and you get bonus points if you can identify the accent of the sultry camel-toed temptress cooing throughout the steamy demo (NSFW).

Kangaroo-like? I got yer joey, right here. [Techie Diva]

Moaning Lisa Has Seven Spots That Get Her Hot (Plus NSFW Gallery)

Charlie White — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 10:55:00 EDT

Never encountered a real woman? Here's your chance: Moaning Lisa, who is part sex doll and part interactive game. She has seven strategically placed touch sensors—and even a couple of potentiometers on her nipples—and she can see you, too, with sensors in her eyes. Just like a real woman, the spots that get her hot are sometimes a mystery, and it's up to you to determine where to touch first. After the jump, take a look at a giant gallery with leering NSFW views of most of her, uh, vital areas.

Now for the bad news: Moaning Lisa is not available quite yet. She was demonstrated as part of the Arse Elektronika 2007 Conference in San Francisco, a festival displaying the cutting edge of technological innovation and pornography. Don't fret, though, there are plenty of sex dolls available, and more sophisticated ones are undoubtedly on the way. [Laughing Squid, via Oh Gizmo]

F Cup Tea Promises That Their Herbs Will Go Straight to Your Boobs

Jason Chen — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 00:44:54 EDT

Ladies, are you self-conscious about your breasts? Do you think they need to be bigger to get you attention from guys—or at least from guys like Adam Frucci? Well, you could have expensive and ~~gross~~ really awesome breast implant surgery, or you could just grab some F Cup tea from Japan. These sure-to-be-effective tea bags apparently make your breasts bigger when you drink a cup each day, while those cookies will just make the area below your boobs bigger. Big difference. Plus, who wants to chew when you can just swallow? [Tokyo Times via Tokyo Mango]

NSFW: Optimus Prime, Darth Vader Get Nekked With Boobies

Jason Chen — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 15:30:54 EDT

There's not much we can say about these nudie shots of Darth Vader and Optimus Prime other than words of relief that our childhood attractions are finally vindicated. Despite being the heroes of both Generation X and Y, these two really know how to get down and dirty. This is NSFW, btw, in case you work for, I don't know, Martha Stewart or something. [Aaron Dunn (NSFW) via Otomano (NSFW) via Fleshbot (NSFW)]

Bionic Woman Gives Us a Titanium Tent

Charlie White — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 12:30:00 EDT

Rarely does a woman herself qualify as a gadget, but this time, Michelle Ryan, star of the upcoming NBC remake of Bionic Woman, perfectly fits the bill. At least that's the best excuse we could think of to find some sensational shots of her and bring them to you all in one place, clickable with one hand. After yesterday's post of the show's trailer showing her pouting and throwing people across roofs, we figured this tacky video was the least we could do. Huge NSFW gallery, after the jump.

The Bionic Woman series premiere is September 26, 9pm/8 Central on NBC. [NBC]

Another Boobie Mousepad

Mark Wilson — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:00:08 EDT

Live it up, pervs. That's a mousepad. And it has boobies. And you can touch them all you want. But remember, owning such a mousepad dates you back to the '90s, and this chick looks like she's from somewhere in the late '80s. If we do a little more math, you're groping a chick who is now in her 50s, or even 60s. Not that it's ever stopped us before...but the "wrist rest" might not be what it used to be. [tokyotimes]

Girlfriend Pillow Offers Flat-Chested Comfort

Charlie White — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 11:53:14 EDT

Add this Girlfriend Pillow to that Lap Pillow we showed you a few years ago, and you could end up with a whole girl, minus all that bothersome yapping. This one takes the concept a step further, quivering with delight thanks to its internal vibrator that runs on two D batteries.

Looks like they put the double Ds in the wrong place. Too bad the designers chose to make this $14.99 pillow so flat-chested. What about that old saying, "Anything over a mouthful is wasted"? We disagree. In fact, we're hoping the next version will contain a couple of double-D-sized flasks, strategically located.

Product Page [Collections Etc.]

Dell Beginning to Learn How to Sell Laptops with Comely Female Consultants

Charlie White — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 12:15:00 EDT

If you thought those colorful Dell notebooks we showed you the other day were attractive, check out the models Dell picked out to sashay around with the laptops in Korea. Those gals really know how to stand up straight, don't they? We hear the women showing off the equipment in New York had equally good posture.
[I4U News]

German Chicks in Bikinis Smashing Gadgets

Jason Chen — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 12:30:24 EDT

You have to have a certain special kind of fetish to enjoy watching German ladies in bikinis destroy gadgets with a scowl on their face, but if anyone fits the bill, we're sure they're in our readership.

These sets of videos belong to Bikinirama, three German ladies that enjoy swimwear and destroying electronics equally. The video above shows them demolishing a PowerBook, but there's monitors, CD players and record players as well. No ball breaking, but that's probably more of a hobby than something they need to be paid for. – Jason Chen

Bikinirama [via Fake Steve via Wired]

Hottest Babes of Computex

Charlie White — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 13:00:00 EDT

There's a big tech convention going on in Taipei right now called Computex, and we've seen quite a bit of news coming out of there about motherboards, chipsets and such. But we also wanted to see what sort of visual interest might be roaming around on the show floor. It makes us feel so, so dirty to show you these pictures, but it's a tough job and somebody has to do it.

So here they are, the current Queens of the Silicon Age, straight from the city with the cleanest airport floor we've ever seen: Taipei, Taiwan. Check out the gallery for pictures of babes, plus a gratuitous shot we took of that oh-so-clean floor, just to make us feel a little more pure, clean-cut and innocent. – Charlie White

To the Gallery!

Mac Chick of the Month is the iTunes/Pepsi Girl, Mandy Amano

Jason Chen — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 18:20:30 EDT

Context: The Super Bowl iTunes/Pepsi ad from 2005 featured a cute girl by the name of Mandy Amano who set the internets ablaze with her dancing. Websites such as thatpepsigirl sprang up just to keep track of her comings and goings. Wired's Leander Kahney, whom Silicon Valley sister site Valleywag thought was Fake Steve Jobs for a couple hours, even called her the new Ellen Feiss. That's quite an Apple rep to live up to.

Where is she now? She's Macenstein's Mac Chick of the Month. Head over there for a couple more shots. Which means now you get to look at her without a shirt on.

p.s. ladies? Go look at Aussibum again.

– Jason Chen

Mac Chick of the Month [Macenstein]

Glo-Go Bikini Top and Skirt Shed Light on the Subject

Charlie White — Wed, 23 May 2007 12:45:00 EDT

Nobody noticing you there, girl? Put on this Glow-Go bikini top and skirt, and be the center of attention until your batteries run down after about 10 hours. They're part of the GloFur collection by designer David Lee, who won't really say how they work but we suspect it has something to do with a bunch of wires and LEDs.

This little bra will cost you $78, while the matching skirt goes for $124. Check out the gallery below and you'll see there's a variety of electronic clothing with which to decorate your already-appealing female parts. After the jump, check out an almost not-safe-for-work video of these illuminating garments in action.

If you're so inclined, there are GloFur coats for guys, too. – Charlie White

Product Page [GlowFur, via Oh Gizmo]

Jingle Jugs: The Billy Bigmouth Bass for the Perv Generation

Jason Chen — Mon, 14 May 2007 21:20:52 EDT

It's a good thing the Jingle Jugs wasn't out when David Brent was still working for Wernham Hogg, otherwise the women in that workplace would really have had something to complain about. There's not much to this gadget once you boil it down to its essentials: a pair of singing, vibrating tits for $49. Which is enough for us. – Jason Chen

Product Page [Jingle Jugs via Slashgear]

Boobies: The Executive Desk Toy

Jason Chen — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 17:00:29 EDT

Remember the pendulum executive desk toys that were so popular in the '80s? Then you'll be familiar with Mrs. Newton's Knockers. A few questions though.

Does Mrs. Newton herself have five breasts? More than five breasts? Are these someone else's breasts? Did she take one each from five women, or are there two women walking around breastless and one with just half a breast? All pertinent questions. – Jason Chen

Product Page [Find me a gift via Nerd Approved]

Famous Hot Ladies With the Sidekick iD

Jason Chen — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 08:18:44 EDT

Even though you've seen the official announcement, the unboxing, and even its guts splayed out for the sake of fashion, you're still not satisfied. Why? Because you haven't seen a gallery of hot stars flashing the SiD (does not stand for sudden infant death) like it was a mirror into your soul.

Consider it a little eye candy to wake you up this achy Tuesday morning. We'll leave it up to you to decide which is your favorite. Ours definitely is not the newly ghoulishly skeletal J. Jameson. – Jason Chen

Ladies Love The New Sidekick iD [Geeksugar]

Top 10 Boob Gadgets

Jason Chen — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 17:00:07 EDT

American Inventor Spot likes boobies as much as we do. They've compiled a list of the top 10 boobie gadgets that you or your wife can buy. We've covered some of them here before, like the boob remote, mousepad and the breast-shaped shampoo dispenser, but keeping up with these things is a full-time job. That's why we're glad American Inventors are on the case. – Jason Chen

10 Ways to Have Fun with Boobs [American InventorSpot]

Bounce-O-Meter Shows Laws of Physics at Work on Bare Breasts of All Sizes

Charlie White — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 09:48:20 EDT

Shock Absorber sports bras are a great innovation for the ladies and maybe even some guys with man breasts, especially for marathon runners and intense exercisers, who cite examples of conventional bras actually cutting into them.

Those brassieres have been around for a while, though, but the real eye-opener is the way the company demonstrates the characteristics of its products with its Bounce -O-Meter, a Flash app on its website. It lets you input a bra and cup size and then simulates what happens to those magnificent mamms under various exercise conditions, starting with naked breasts (NSFW), then a normal bra, and ultimately the Shock Absorber sports bra.

Take the jump for the Bounce-O-Meter:

Besides appealing to the prurient interest, it's an exceptionally well-done animation, demonstrating a real problem solved by a product that looks like it can get the job done. Even the A cups do a whole lot of bouncing around, graphically vouching for the gal who invented the brassiere almost a century ago, and the Shock Absorber creators who dramatically improved that invention. Yes, they certainly had better reasons than we do for studying breasts so carefully. – Charlie White

Bounce-O-Meter (NSFW) [Shock Absorber]

MadameXpod Delivers the iPod Porn You've Been Clumsily Photoshopping

Jason Chen — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 18:00:13 EDT

Ever since Wankfest 2006, where an S&M vixen stuck a 4th-gen iPod Photo (not a Shuffle or a Nano) up her cooter, there's been a community brewing around the combination of music players and sexual acts. MadameXpod is the culmination of these months of amateur photography and wishful photoshopping.

Our horny brother Fleshbot enthuses:

The samples aren't quite as generous as we'd like, but what you can see is a cool blend of sexy, artsy, and naughty photos that demonstrate the beauty of what a good mix tape can do. Just make sure your battery is fully charged, because you do not want to run out of juice in the middle of your favorite, um... song.

Oh, and of course this whole affair is NSFW. – Jason Chen

MadameXpod [NSFW via Fleshbot]

Best Booth Babe Ever: Samsung's Leopard Lady

Charlie White — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 14:15:00 EDT

Of all the booth babes we've ever seen, Samsung wins the all-time prize for this gorgeous body-painted leopard girl, holding court in the Samsung booth so convention goers could test out the company's digital SLRs.

It turns out every guy in the convention center wanted to test out his own personal equipment on the Samsung jungle set, taking those pics home for later, uh, use. So with apologies in advance to women's and animal rights groups, and with our apologies to our heathen gods for all the evil things we want to do to this young leopardess/temptress, we offer you this first photo, with the promise of many more-revealing ones after the jump (definitely NSFW):

Hey, what would the caption be for this one?

Take a gawk at the picture gallery below, which is certainly not safe for work:

The Bikini Remote

Jason Chen — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 20:00:28 EST

Released too late to fit into our Fat Tuesday roundup, this Bikini Remote is the best gift you could give to a thirteen-year-old boy next to an actual woman. Or a bikini. Or a remote.

The remote itself has no screen, no numbers, and no real special features. Well, unless you count hiding the channel up/channel down buttons under the bikini a special feature. Which we totally do. – Jason Chen

Product Page [Lighterside via Spluch via Coolest Gadgets]

Happy Fat Tuesday: Top 10 Alcohol & Boobie Related Gadgets

Travis Hudson — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 14:03:37 EST

For those unaware, today is Fat Tuesday, or Mardi Gras or Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day or whatever the hell you want to call it. Let me put on my spectacles and give a little history lesson.

Fat Tuesday is the day before Ash Wednesday and the last hurrah before the start of Lent. This day has a lot of significance throughout the world, but for us in the United States, it is just another day where we can get absolutely plastered.

Fat Tuesday is also synonymous with the viewing of breasts in exchange for reward, in most cases, beads. So, what is a better way to ring in Fat Tuesday than a grand ol' list of some of our favorite alcohol- and breast-related gear. Jump to see the entire, possibly NSFW, list.

10. Godzilla Beer Dispenser
I wouldn't suggest drinking directly from this beer-dispensing Godzilla, because then it would appear that you and Godzilla's relationship was more than professional. This little dino lets out a mighty roar upon pouring of a beverage (although, like most dinosaurs, Godzilla prefers beer).

9. Bikini Babe Case Mod
Nothing gets my blood boiling more than a bikini babe and powerhouse computer combined into one sick project. This guy hand-crafted a computer to look like a female of an anime variety.

8. Breast Shaper
Ladies, or well-endowed guys: You may want to get those breasts in shape before flaunting them around the town for beads, and this strange contraption may be able to do so. The Bust Doctor can reshape breasts. Maybe it can reshape the breasts into animal and other cool figures.

7. Beer Tap Backpack
I know it differs from town to town, but in my neck of the woods the general bar district comes together for one giant celebration, so traveling from bar to bar is generally encouraged. The Beer Tap Backpack will ease those painful 20-foot drinkless walks to the next bar.

6. iBreath iPod Breathalyzer Accessory
What kind of a Gizmodo list would this be without some sort of an iPod accessory? The iBreath attaches to the bottom of the iPod and can give a BAC quicker than your 80s rock playlist can load.

5. Boobie Mouse Pad
Always a classic is the boobie mouse pad. No further explanation needed.

4. Boob Radio
Tweaking the left nipple adjusts volume and tweaking the right nipple selects a station. Now that is a useful pair of breasts.

3. Breast-Shaped Shampoo Dispenser
Not to be outdone by the boob radio is this boob shampoo dispenser for the shower.

2. Asahi Beer Robot
I'm pretty confident there is not a single person on this planet who would not want to own a beer-pouring robot like this one. The robot doesn't do the greatest job pouring, but we aren't picky.

1. Boobkini
The Japanese are the reigning kings of boobs and this invention further proves it. Just watch the video.

And with that... Happy Fat Tuesday, all. However you feel like celebrating (whether it be drinking yourself stupid, staying in, or treating it like any other Tuesday) may it be enjoyable. And if you do decide to go out drinking, do it safely. Hand off the keys and do as my mother always tells me: look, but don't touch. –Travis Hudson

Boobies Mouse Pad Sets Feminism Back 50 Years

Adam Frucci — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 10:58:42 EST

In honor of Valentine's Day, here's a mouse pad that no one who is in a healthy relationship would ever own. Yes, apparently blatantly sexist computer peripherals are all the rage these days, with underdeveloped manchildren getting off on their wrists resting on two vaguely breast-like mounds of rubber.

Seriously, who buys this garbage? If you own this or anything like it you immediately forfeit your right to complain about not having a date tonight, or any other night, ever. –Adam Frucci

BustyMousepads.com (Seriously.) [via Coolest Gadgets]