There was the immobile singing Poo-chi by Tiger Electronics, a company that also made the i-Cybie, which could lift its leg and roll over. The $99 Fisher-Price Rocket the Wonder Dog, which was operated via infrared headset, could burp and scratch itself. There was also Tekno by Manley Toy Quest, Big Scratch and Lil' Scratch by Trendmasters, Puppy Magic by Toy Biz and more.

Many people who had both real dogs and fake dogs decided to see what would happen when the two worlds collided.

If I had a fake dog... you know, the idea seems so preposterous to me that I can't even go there. My real dog is looking at me as I sit here on my shiny computer which is flanked by my shiny iPod and phone. "Aren't you glad I don't require electricity to operate?" he is saying with his eyes. "Don't you want to take me to the park and escape the backlit cyber world you are immersed in so many hours a day?" Why yes, Amos, I do. Now stop dragging your butt.

If these cyber versions were meant to appeal to real wannabe dog owners, I think they should've made them look a little more doglike. Would it have been so hard to slap some fake fur on these things? I'm thinking they could've gone with some Muppet fur—shaggy blue, maybe. Or Elmo red. Who wants a pet that looks like Robocop. Also: my real dog earns his keep by licking clean the dinner plates and jumping in the laps of cute guys at the park. The cyber curs had no such uses. If I'm going to shell out that kind of money for a non-breathing pet, I'd at least like if it could second as a vacuum.

Nevertheless, many robotic dog owners thought it'd be very original and clever and hilarious to introduce their real pet to their fake pet, as evidenced by the following videos...

German Shepherd doesn't let Aibo touch its meat

Sparky gets in some hot two-on-one action with a Doberman and a Chihuahua

Dog asks the Poo-Chi why it isn't wearing any clothes

A cat watches an impertinent iCybie take a pee

This particular school of cinema reached its nadir with robo-dog snuff films

Anna Jane Grossman will be with us for the next few weeks, documenting life in the early aughts, and how it differs from today. The author of Obsolete: An Encyclopedia of Once-Common Things Passing Us By (Abrams Image) and the creator of ObsoleteTheBook.com, she has also written for dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Salon.com, the Associated Press, Elle and the Huffington Post, as well as Gizmodo. She has a complicated relationship with technology, but she does have an eponymous website: AnnaJane.net. Follow her on Twitter at @AnnaJane.

The K9 Storm Intruder, arriving in 2010, is a dog-fitted flak jacket, protecting a pooch's vital organs (other than the brain) while offering a means for handlers to track their animals. The vests are fitted with a wireless camera and speaker system, allowing you to see what the dog sees and maybe even command him appropriately, remotely.

And yes, $20,000 is a lot of money, but a military dog is a $50,000 investment. And dogs are worth it because they are far, far cuter than people. [K9 Storm via CNN Money via Popsci via New Launches]

BTW, if you hate the gallery format as much as the Grinch hated Christmas, click here.

Remote Fetch: Ball chasing is very good exercise for pooches, even if it can cause obsession and anti social tendencies that will result in thousands of dollars in dog therapy. Capable of being remote triggered at 7 or 15 second intervals, or just automatically throwing balls your dog drops in the bucket, it might be worth the trouble. Think of it as the equivalent of a video game for a dog. And it's better than a doggie treadmill, which you can't really leave a dog unsupervised on for very long. $120 [Remote Fetch]

Hotdoll:Ugh! Someone actually went and turned the hotdoll dog sex doll concept into an actual product. The doll has a silicon...nevermind. We had one at Gizmodo Gallery and one owner brought one in to see if their dog—that loves humping—would hump it. He did not. I guess just like real people, it takes a flexible sexual orientation to find comfort in inanimate figurines. Price TBD [Hotdoll on Giz]

Indiana Jones and Star Wars Dog Costumes: Remember when Indiana Jones shot that guy with the swords in Temple of Doom? What if, no, listen, wait, what if Harrison Ford was a dog and in that scene and, instead of shooting the assassin, he used teeth! And, like in Star Wars, instead of light sabers, they had swords made of bones. Oh man, hilarious! Earnestly, these costumes are the only items on this list you should legitimately buy for your dogs. Roughly $14 each. [SpoiledRottenDoggies]

Autofetch Motion Pet Ball: It looks like the famous Super Happy Fun Ball* from Saturday Night Live sketches in the 90s, and although not radioactive, the Autofetch ball acts freakishly similar. The motorized dog toy takes a cookie and then spins around, wildly, til batteries go out, or your dog goes insane and crushes the life out of it. Recommended! *Do not taunt! $27 for two. [Autofetch]

Bissell SpotBot Pet: Puppy training is basically like potty training a kid, except your whole apartment is the diaper. Here we have a steam cleaner that sprays cleaning solution to the mess on your carpet, a rotating brush that scrubs while the vacuuming action drinks—sorry, that may have not been the best choice of word—up the dirty water, storing it in a reservoir for disposal later. Basically, it's an automatic poop/vomit/pee cleaner. I'm surprised they don't make one for frat boys. $140 [Bissell]
Catgenie: Look, I know I said this whole list is a bunch of things you shouldn't buy, but this is the one you should especially not buy: CatGenie is basically an automatic literbox that takes 45 minute to cycle out the poop. Until humans engineer smarter pets that can be potty trained, there is no tech that can avoid domestic animal excrement handling. $329 [Catgenie review]

Sleepypod Air: This is a travel bag for little animals. What makes it different from other bags is that it has special deceptive fold-in panels that squash your animal while going through security checkpoints, so no one can tell you your bag is too big. (Don't worry, I don't think it'll kill your cat.) Then, after you board, it expands a few inches but fits under a chair. It also has a slot for slipping through a rolling luggage handle, so the bag can rest on top, and has seatbelt clips for placing it in car seats. $150 [Sleepypod Air]

The Hydroglass: For those who believe fish are pets, even though you can't hug them, I'd find it hard to believe you could do better than this fish tank, which has a seven-head horizontal shower on top. $14,500 [Hydroglass]

Don't forget to recommend your own favorite pet gifts in comments-include pics and pricing if possible.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

I've had Malcolm for a year now. He's a little dog. He's a good boy although kind of a moron, but Lisa and I love him. As a puppy, he chewed on a good variety of things, as puppies do. Pens probably reminded him of bones, and he'd sneak up onto Lisa's chair to her desk to grab a pen and prance away to a quiet corner with his prize to crunch away to get at the inky marrow. He'd attack shoelaces with the enough fervor you'd think they were spaghetti with meat sauce. Eyeglasses, too. He likes biting up the ear pieces so they are jagged and painful to wear, and putting cracks into the lenses. But now that he's a bit older, he's developed a primary affinity for eating gadgets.

TV remotes are fun for him, but only rectangular ones and mostly on the corners. The Toshiba remote has a little bit of chew on the corners, but the AppleTV remote, made of that soft plastic and chicklet looking, is his favorite. If I leave it on the coffee table, I will find it under a couch cushion 2 days later looking more worn. The black IR cap is broken off and the battery case is popped out. I'm lucky he didn't swallow the batteries. Or get shocked the one time he chewed through a 110v cable for a heating pad. I'd unplugged it that morning!

But Malcolm's favorite thing to chew on is an animatronic lion cub. Someone sent it to me last year, unsolicited, and it turned into a dog toy. It's basically a little robot cub that growls and moves its eyes and mouth. The size of a teddy bear. Malcolm used to be scared of it, but now he just unleashes all the hell a 9 pound dog can on it. I think he hates it. After all, he's flesh and blood dog, and the lion is a robotic cat. Not only is the conflict inter-species, but its a battle between a biological being and a robotic one.

At first, he'd drag it across the floor, by its limbs. After awhile, he learned to grab it by the nape of the neck and shake it. After 2 months, the neck opened up and the plastic spine, surrounded by various cables that powered the mouth and eye servos. He chewed through off of them, killing the robot, and gnawed on the neck bones. Sometimes he humps it, but it's pretty clearly dominance, not cross species homosexual technophilia. I think.

I don't have a point here. I just find it amusing and fun to watch nature's greatest machines destroy primitive man made replicants. Oh, how far we have to go.

*Yes, I spray things down with bitter apple now.

The point of the Autofetch Motion Pet Ball is to stick some pet treats inside, activate the internal gyro-drive, and let the ball spin around to entertain and reward your pet. Well, at least I think you're supposed to use it for your pet, because one of the two "frequently asked questions" listed on the product page is a bit odd:

Can I use this motion ball with my pet Rabbit or Pig or Iguana?

Yes, it can be used with any pet, child, or adult human.

I really want to give whoever wrote that the benefit of the doubt and assume that the intent is to say that it's safe for kids to use the toy to play with their pets and that they're not encouraging shoving Halloween candy in there and watching a kid chase after the ball. Although maybe that could be fun to watch. [China Vision via Red Ferret via Wired]

The sidewalk in front of the store has been fitted with small infrared lights, and the installation with infrared cameras; this is how Sniff, an art project designed by Karolina Sobecka and Jim George, knows where its audience is, and can anticipate which direction they're moving.

Some might see a playful interactive exhibit here, but I see something more insidious. Walking by confused, platter-eyed puppies every once in a while is a part of city life—each time you do it, you make an easy—but still present—decision not to buy that dog that evidently loves you more than anything, for some reason. With Sniff, you don't have a choice: he seems to like you, but you physically can't take him home; likewise, there no risk that your walkby buddy is going to get incinerated at a shelter, because he isn't real. Technology, you've stolen the richness from our relationships to dogs that aren't ours. Thanks. [Sniff via Urlesque via Neatorama]

The video illustrates what Sniff can do, including sniffing out RFID tags to instigate "activities" such as different behaviors and vibrations and melody games. I can't tell how well this works, but that little girl in the video looks like she's having the best time ever, so that's pretty cool. And Sniff is designed with sight-impaired children who have special needs in mind, which makes it even cooler.

You'll have to wait a bit longer if you want to get Sniff for your kid, but you can get a book right now about a day in the his life, written by the creator. [Nearfield via Make]

Interested in seeing this thing for yourself? Come on into the Giz Gallery when it opens on Wednesday. And bring your dog, too. I still have doubts that any dog would actually go to town on this thing, so I'll tell you what: if your dog has sex with the sex doll for dogs, you'll win a prize. No raffle for you! If you own a shameless dog, you can skip to the front of the prize line. Prizes include camcorders and laptops, not the throwaway stuff. We have to be able to get the carnal act on video, because we are gross and need proof.

Also, admit it, you're a little curious.

Gizmodo Gallery 2009
Groupe
267 Elizabeth Street
New York, NY 10012

Gallery Dates:
September 23rd-27th

Times:

9/22 Tuesday
Media Day by appointment only. For info please contact gallery@gizmodo.com.

9/23 Wednesday
12-8

9/24 Thursday
12-8

9/25 Friday
12-8
8-? Reader Meetup

9/26 Saturday
11-8
9-? - Live Musical Performance

9/27 Sunday
11-6

Read more about our Giz Gallery 09 here, follow @gizgallery on Twitter and see what else we'll be playing with at the event. And special thanks to Toyota's Prius — without their sponsorship, there would be no Gizmodo Gallery.

Now with Kooky Chew Human Dog Food, you can succumb to temptation and indulge in the succulent but crunchy world of kibble. And you even get a bundled bowl to complete the experience.

2 and 1/2 ounces of crunchy cookies come in every $1.49 pack (cheap!), coupled with a delectable candy bone that's almost as delicious looking as a raw hide. It's my greatest wish that adding a bit of water to the mix will produce a frothy beef gravy. But if not, I guess that's why God gave us Manwich. [Stupid via Nerd Approved]

The DoggieLoveDoll is by a different designer, but this one is actually real. It's shaped like a dog and, yes, has a butthole for your dog to go to town on.

It's marketed towards dogs who are left home alone a lot, but man, can't you just get your dog a chew toy? This just ain't right. [Baltimore Sun]

Back in 2002, TakaraTomy released a device called the Bowlingual, which claimed to translate a dog's barking into human dialect you could read from a screen. Now, 7 years later, the company has updated Bowlingual to include vocalization—you know, like a text-to-speech GPS but for an animal discussing the merits of eating one's own feces.

It's a Japan-only toy, so the voice of the American dog movement will continue to go unheard. But do what we do and just assume that your dog is perpetually trying to warn you that the old mill is burning down. Better safe than sorry. [TakaraTomy via technabob via pocket-lint]The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

Steven from Boing Boing Gadgets recently tried the system out with his pug Gus, and I don't quite see the point of it all.

So what does it track? "Average Power Correlate" (APC), which the company claims is a "correlation based on empirical measurement." In other words, a relative measure of the amount of energy that accumulates in the tag's accelerometer. Thus, the charted numbers themselves are rather meaningless, which was a bummer in that I was unable to make any comparison(s) to my own level of fitness, distance traveled, etc.

Yeah I think I'll just keep my $150, thanks very much. [Boing Boing Gadgets]

The scary thing about the Puppy Monorail is that it has managed to evolve over the years. The project started out as a modest 3 car train, but now has expanded to a WHOPPING five cars (FIVE!!!). Still, until I see some real puppies moving 10 feet down that squiggly track, I'm not sold. Also, one of the train cars should really be a milk bowl. [Puppy Mover Monorail]

Despite connecting to your outdoor plumbing lines, the PowerLoo is not a backyard doggie toilet. The PowerLoo is a backyard crap flusher (read: you pick up dog crap then place it in the toilet). And while I'm sure it adds some level of convenience to doodie disposal, the $1000 price is on par with one of those fancy, Japanese toilets that literally air dries the cellulite from your butt. Coming this June. [PowerLoo via Treehugger via DVICE]

Ward is a photographer of pets for Fat Orange Cat Studios. The photos are ok. But she's got some good advice over there:

I also almost always shoot in burst mode, usually in slow burst at 2 to 3 frames per second.

I end up doing a lot of gymnastics during a shoot. I'm crouching, kneeling, on my back, on my side, waking up sore the next morning.

I sort of treat my still camera as a video camera. Even if I'm not actively shooting, and even if the subject is not doing something "capture-worthy," I continue tracking through the viewfinder and recomposing. Because soon enough they will do something capture-worthy, and I'll be ready to press the shutter the second it happens.

Treats, ham, roast beef, squeaky toys, patience. With dogs, I like making meowing sounds. Seems to get their attention every time, and as a bonus, they give the quizzical head tilt. It's a little trickier with cats because if you make an attention-making noise more than even once, they will ignore you thereafter.

Damn cats.

I am reminded, reading all of this, of how insane pet owners are, and how a the professional pet photographer is an unsung hero of portraiture. Their subjects are only somewhat less difficult than what Annie Leibovitz has to deal with when photographing rock and movie stars.

There is the greater question of why people don't just buy nice DSLRs and take photos of their own pets. But I suppose all the tricks and tips in here—far greater in number and substance than you'd assume a list could be for mere humans—are the answer. [NYT]

Only Japan would come up with the Sum, a robotic trash can designed by Tohoku Kankyo. Simply open the poor dog's mouth, put in pet poop and old food, and using some "fancy bio substance" it'll break it down and make it not stinky. It can handle about 600 grams of poop or food per day, which is more poop than I'd want put in my mouth per day, but I'm no robotic trash can.

The Sum can be yours for the perfectly reasonable price of $900. [Sum via Japan Probe]

A domestic employee named Reinelda Estupinian—the person who cared for the pups —gets $1 million and the right to live in the mansion with the dogs... Majel claimed Reinelda deserves the massive stack of cash because she "did an excellent job of caring for my animals (giving them comparable or better care than that which I gave them during my lifetime)."

Neeedless to say, the only thing better than being the dog of Gene and Majel Roddenberry is being their son. Apparently he gets $60 million up front, a Bel-Air mansion, and $10 million bonuses just for staying alive long enough to reach 35, 40 and 45. That, my friend, could buy you a lot of Star Trek sporks and cologne. But he and the dogs probably get that stuff for free too. So jealous. [TMZ via Boing Boing Gadgets]

Indeed, in a perfect world bike designer Sky Yaeger would be sitting on a huge pile of money today thanks to her slick $65 carbon fiber Splash-N-Go dog bowl. But this is not the case. Instead, she sits atop a pile of unsold luxury dog bowls, which she created after tiring of a 37-year career in bicycle design.

Oh, and for all you cyclists out there, Yaeger's selfish attempt to reinvent herself actually tied up the carbon fiber market when she made the sizable order a few years ago. Bicycle companies, as a result, could not get their products made in a timely fashion. "We couldn't get frames made and you were getting stupid dog bowls made," said Jason Rico in an interview with Wired. Rico was a product manager with a mountain bike manufacturer when the doggie dish order was placed.

Sarcasm aside, it's probably time to get back on the bike path, Yaeger. [Wired]

Malcolm always seems to do it when I'm writing some important email or have a lot of windows open. And then he steps on it and everything goes BASDFASDGASDBASDGASd or BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP and all the keys go CLAAAAACCCCCCCCKKK as his nails scrape against the plastic. And then he wants to play and looks at me with a look on his face like, "LETS GO OUTSIDE BUT FIRST FEED ME AGAIN!"

Other writers here think its because geek owners stare at their screens all day, and the pets eventually need some attention, food, or a poo break. What do you think it is that makes pets want to walk on keyboards?

WalkyDog essentially places your dog on a treadmill it can't get off of without breaking it's neck. And check out the picture—i don't even think that dalmatian is real, but it still looks like the saddest thing ever. Not cool. [Craziest Gadgets]

Unlike pedometers for humans that can only regulate movement in two legs, the $55 doggy pedometer uses special technology that allows it to monitor movement in all of its four legs. It also has a sensor that can detect whether your dog is actually walking and running as opposed to just shaking, scratching, or even frantically humping your leg. [New Launches via OhGizmo!]

Some of them likely say, in barkenese, "Ifoundfood or Iwanttohavesex", so your pup can't help but look at you quizzically as you click the shutter. And eventually resent you for the continuous deception. [iTunes via Tokyomango]

The system utilizes a ceiling-mounted laser pointer, an I/O bridge with servo module, two servos, a webcam, an X10 module and a buzzer. When the buzzer sounds, the dog is alerted that it is time to play. Using the iPhone, the user can turn the lights on and off and move the laser around the room for the dog to chase. When you have finished damaging your dog's mind, the buzzer can be sounded a second time to indicate that playtime is over.

LaserPup's creator hopes to develop an app that makes it possible to use the iPhone's accelerometer as the control. He also provided detailed instructions on how to set something like this up for yourself—although, I wouldn't suggest it if you want to prevent a doggie mental disorder. [LaserPup via Make]

Absolutely not.

After all, cloned animals or people are not the real thing, no matter how much they look like the source material. Nothing can't replace the original. But even if they were able to clone them complete with memory and personality, aren't there enough amazing dogs in the world to adopt?

Edgar and Nina Otto—who have nine other dogs, 10 cats, six sheep and four parrots in West Boca (no kidding)—thought otherwise. That's why they paid that much cash to clone Lancelot—their beloved Labrador—who died from cancer. A company called BioArts International—partnering with South Korean researcher Dr Hwang Woo-suk—created Lancelot Encore, which is the actual name of Lancelot 2.0. Or better said, Lancelot 1.0 Remastered.

Woo-suk took the genetic material from the original Lancelot—which was extracted when the couple learnt he had cancer—and replaced the genetic material of an egg from a Korean breed similar to the Labrador. After implanting it into a surrogate mother, the cloned Lancelot was born. After that, he was shipped to Miami International, where he became the first single-birth commercial dog clone ever in the United States, according to his parents.

According to Edgard and Nina, he's exactly like the real thing, and has established himself as the alpha male among the other pets the moment he came into the house. To be honest, if I was another dog I would be freaked out to find alive the dog I thought was dead. [Daily Mail

I really don't know if this photo is staged or not. And quite frankly, I don't care, because knowing—and loving—dogs, this is how things should be. At least, if we are talking about Jones here. Screw training, lips be damned. [Dark Roasted Blend]

Yes, now you can get your lazy ass carted around by your poor dog, attaching him and up to three other dogs to one of these crazy contraptions. The big selling point, apparently, is that by placing the dog behind the steering apparatus, you're able to have much more control over where you're headed. Because if the dog was placed in front of the steering apparatus, you'd always just head right to the butcher shop or milk bone factory.

But really, you need to see the website to get the full effect of this product. I mean, with quotes like this, how can you go wrong?

YOU WILL LOVE THE TOTAL STABILITY OF THE TRIKE AND THE SPORTS CAR TYPE HANDLING WITH POWERFUL STEERING AND BRAKING.

I SURE WILL! [Dog Powered Scooter via Neatorama]

The Israeli city of Petah Tikva, a suburb of Tel Aviv, has just launched a six-month trial program that will have local dogs DNA tested so their droppings can be identified after being scraped off the bottom of your shoe. The system will work both as a way to punish poop-leavers as well as reward those who do their civic duty by cleaning up after their pooches. If you scoop up after your dog and leave it in specially marked bins along the streets, you'll be eligible for pet food coupons and dog toys. If it's found on the street, you'll be eligible for fines.

It's a pretty interesting idea, but I wonder if it's worth all the effort. Sure, clean streets are great, but how much does it cost to set something this elaborate up? I mean, how much are you going to have to pay the poor bastard whose job it is to go around analyzing dog crap from the sidewalks? Yikes. [Reuters]

Dogs have been performing parachute jumps in the name of military service since WW2, but never from such a great altitude, where oxygen deprivation and pressure changes can become an issue. Presumably, the dogs will be fitted with an oxygen mask in addition to their head-mounted camera, which will probably account for some pretty bad-ass looking head gear. [Telegraph via Geekologie]

Yikes. To make you feel better, might I suggest revisiting the adorable bionic puppy? [Environmental Graffiti via io9]

[DailyMail via Best Week Ever via Jezebel]

Wan Love Yu's micro bubble technology can stably produce bubbles with a 20μm average diameter, that's roughly 600,000 bubbles in one square centimeter. The bubbles are negatively charged so that they attach to positively charged organic particles and lift them off. The result—foam that reaches way down into a dog's hair to dissolve dirt and grime.

The Wan Love Yu generator attaches to a regular hose in the bathtub, so it doesn't require any additional piping work. IDEC is planning on releasing Wan Love on June 20 in Japan for between $6,000 to $7,000. Though if that's the price for shampoo free doggy eyes, I say Fido ought to just suck it up and bathe the old fashioned way. [Fareastgizmos]