Does that thing wing out like a stiletto switchblade? I wonder if thats what the button is fore. YAY a potential weapon if you decide to sharpen it!

How abou they just cover the toilets and handles themselves with nano-silvers?

Done deal pal!

Honestly, would you want to wipe your butt with that?

(hint: the correct answer is no)

re-read what the silver ion compound does.
it does NOT kill on contact.
it merely creates a surface that germs only survive for a day or two, but do not thrive and multiply.
it is used in many things such as in pen plastic for public building pens, and in hospital instruments.

Eion, I'm guessing you'd only do it once. Or only be able to do it once.

I think airline staff will be thrilled when they discover this exciting new cutting-edge (-throat?) keychain!

All enjoyment I got from Mark's original joke (of wiping your ass with this sharp pointed object) has just been wiped-out by the comedic attempts from Eion & AhnyerKeester. Come on guys, aren't both of your comments implicit in the original post?

Just use some toilet paper if your that septic! (Not the stuff on the floor)

That thing may have saved a life or prevented a nut job from stabbing someone who didn't wash their hands...(four times!..hiding outside the place to ambush the dude no less)...

I just stick my hand under my shirt and use my shirt as a glove to open suspicious doors, and I flush toilets with my foot.

if only it had a bottle opener built in. and my remote for my car. and a clip to attach my keychain to my belt/bag. and a condom holder. and one of those flip-out mini credit/debit cards.

seriously, if I add anything else to my keychain, I might need a purse just to carry the damn thing.

lm- "I just stick my hand under my shirt and use my shirt as a glove to open suspicious doors, and I flush toilets with my foot."

Sounds like watching you navigate your day would be amusing.

Just saying...

Obviously, lm pays someone else to do the laundry.

why not make the handles on toilets/doors/etc. out of the same crap that hook thing is?

If it works as advertised, it could wipe you ass, but you also risk chopping your balls off...

Where do you guys go to find such bad toilets?
Ok, if you're going to the toilet in the subway maybe it might be that bad.. but day-to-day how often do you find the need to worry about a door handle?

My elbow and shoe work fine...no need.

The FDA is considering rules to restrict the use of nanosilvers since they can potentially pass through the brain/blood barrier. So some buttheads I know should really avoid using these to wipe.

Why not use your foot to open the doors too, instead of your shirt?

The tool looks like it might be useful for removing belly button lint. It's a little too long for ear wax, though.

why not just wash your hands or use those germ killing gels?

I use my foot to flush and then before i even turn on the sink I get a big wad of paper towels. One is to turn on the crap covered sink handle, the next paper towel is to dry my hands and the next paper towel is to grab the door handle to get out of the bathroom and I just drop it on the floor if I can't make it into the trashcan. The sink handle has more germs or as much germs at the toilet handle. Never made much sense to turn on a crappy sink handle, wash my hands clean and then touch a crappy sink handle again.

[...] and the next paper towel is to grab the door handle to get out of the bathroom and I just drop it on the floor if I can't make it into the trashcan.

So you're the asshole who leaves the bathroom floor littered with paper towels. I've always wondered.

I don't know how I've managed to live oh, these many years actually touching handles and doors! Deathwish, I guess.

don't most toilet stalls have toilet paper to prevent you from touching undesirable objects?

They should make all bathroom door fixtures out of copper. Bacteria can't grow on a copper surface, many hospitals have been doing this for years to prevent transmissions of cooties.

I had a friend that used to actually WASH candy bars before he took them out of the wrapper (among other anal retentive habits) This would have been right up his alley.

Hey, enough with making us jump the gap just to read a 1-line punchline or conclusion, its getting freaking annoying.

lol...poo particles.

think also could also work as a nice toothpick

oh wait.....umm......never mind

I definitely was skimming the page and thought the headline said "homophobic pirates" and was mildly confused. The actual headline was much less nonsensical. Oh well.

You know there are a lot more "ass germs" on your mouse that you are holding right now than are on a toilet seat... Just a thought to brighten your day.

Mr. Mark Wilson,

I love you you snuck in the "public ho". Pray tell how oft do you frequent?

@someToast: i don't give two craps about littering. I damn sure ain't touching a handle that some other retard touched after handling his junk. That's why we have... oh, what are they called... janitors. I am right there with webtoole.

Who knows? The guy before me might have been you, and I am not about to cozy up to your junk. No offense.

Who knows? The guy before me might have been you, and I am not about to cozy up to your junk. No offense.

I wash my hands, manage to get the paper in the trash, then fondle the door handle with reckless abandon.

If you're that paranoid about the perils of public peeing, perhaps you should hold it until you get back to your sterile stall at home, Mr. Hughes.

makes me wonder why they don't make the doorknobs and flush handles out of this nano-silver BS.

[...] many hospitals have been doing this for years to prevent transmissions of cooties.

I'm a Cootie and I go to the VA Hospital every month to prevent the boredom of Veterans. (They let me in. Look it up "Military Order of the Cootie".

Cootie is a Military Term from WWI in which our veterans were infested with body lice, they called them Cooties.