Gizmodo
This crazy Japanese Wii safety manual is pretty much indicative of Japanese people's general insanity. Our theory: a secret battle between Godzilla and several Gundams in the early 1980s bombarded the whole of Japan with cosmic G-rays, which allowed then-youths to grow up and draw these weird-ass manuals.
First, hitting your husband in the face with a Wiimote is not acceptable even if you're pregnant. Do not blame it on your hormones.
Lots more after the jump.
Do not pour half a bottle of orange-flavored tea onto your Wii. Anything less than half is fine.
The Wii is not a tie. (I actually did this when I was playing Zelda.)
Do not attempt to control your heart with the Wiimote.
Do not imitate that clip of the "smoking woman" with your Wii.
When the Wii catches a cold, use a hypo-allergenic blanket.
Do not remove the four leaf clover from your Wii. It is Nintendo's secret to motion sensing.
Do not unwrap the Wii over your head.
Do not attempt to produce your own twist-ties for the sensor bar. One is provided for you.
Test have shown limited success with playing the Wii with your feet. However, you will produce lightning.
Blu-ray discs will not work in the Wii.
Do not lay out a Wii for homeless Japanese citizens. They should clean themselves up and get a job like an honorable salaryman.
Do not forcibly remove Wii discs. There is an ejection mechanism. Jerk.
Do not attempt to wake up the Wii when it is napping.
Do not attempt to plug the nunchuk attachment into your foot. Again, lightning.
Comments
And here I was using my Wii as an ash tray. I guess I'll just have to get a PS3 for an ash tray now.
wow hilarious...
Haha. That was the greatest post ever.
I haven't yet seen the english version, why would they bother to draw different pictures, or do the Japanese not understand English pictures?
As funny as the usual post is, this one nearly got me in trouble at work. Good stuff.
And people said that PS3 is bad b/c it doesn't have a disc load tray, neither does the Wii... XD
It's funny, the first one. :P
Japan is always like that, though... You should see what they have on blow-dryers XD
I shouldnt read something related to japanese nintendo instruction manuals while in biology. I actually laughed considerably loud, causing my professor to stare.
This was almost funny.
Lol, that was really funny. Clovers, must be some sort of hint. I bet you that the Wiis are assembled by leprechauns.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Oh, man - I was caught off guard by some of these interpretations.
"Do not remove the four leaf clover from your Wii. It is Nintendo's secret to motion sensing."
Classic.
I bet you the clover is a clue. The leprechauns that assemble the Wiis are trying to tell us something.
The one about Blu-Ray. Now THAT was funny.
this is the funniest post i have ever heard =P every single one of them made my entire office turn around. worth losing my job over..
i would buy that manual. someone ebay it.
my first experience with butchered japanese instructions was a little parachute ball that said 'throw ball to air'. ??
OMG - funniest post ever.
Does anyone with some insight into this instruction manual actually know what the hell the four leaf clover thing is all about? That is the most ridiculous warning I have ever seen in my entire life!
LOL, good stuff...best post evar.
Is it something like "for better results in growing elusive vegetation, please use the disc loading mechanism, not the cooling fan ventilation system for your planting" ?
For lucky best wash, use Mr. Sparkle!
The 4 leaf clover thing is most likely do not stick vegetation into your wii or it will decompose and breed the grey plague destryong 99.9% of the worlds population...
Or it could just mean don't stick anything into the fan blades on the back of the wii... dead fan = lots of heat = very hot wii.
That one with the person holding the game disk... is that really supposed to be someone trying to force-remove a disk or maybe they're saying not to keep your finger in the hole while inserting the disk 'cuz it may get cut off.
Don't use your Wii for growing potted plants.
i laughed soo hard i now have a headache and my coworkers are giving my funny looks.
ok, so giving ME funny looks, but of course that is situation normal.
Hellooooo new user pic.
That's it, Jason. I am nominating you for a Pulitzer.
Good work guys, that was hilarious!
The sign over the trash bags says "Burnable Garbage". What in the hell?
Who in their right mind would just think, "Yeah, you know what, I'm just gonna throw my Wii in the trash, with all the banana peels and poopy Pampers."
Couldn't have put it better myself. Hilarious post.
lol, sweet stuff wangsta
I believe the one with the ash tray is translated as "If left unattended, your Wii can become rebelious and begin smoking cigarettes or perhaps crystal meth."
Hey now, come on now Jason. If we had "dumb" picture instructions like this in the U.S. perhaps people won't sue McDonald's for spilling coffee on themselves when they drive. Or suff their faces full of Cheesburgers until they weigh 300 lbs. Instead they would see a picture of some idiot crashing his/her car into a tree while trying to drink hot coffee or a stay-puff marshmellow man shoving food into its mouth while on a scale that read 1,000 lbs.
Perhaps the they can teach us a thing or two about preventing the Darwin awards.
funny goodness, by the by kidrocky7, its wanksta...but no hard feelings yo, we cool. oh yea and stop using the burner when you need to re-up, the 5-Oh's be tappin' them shitz all day. Peace.
Special import, see?
Please stop laughing at my Wii!
Laughing till I pee
the general consensus is LIGHTING!!
if the Wii can create lightning just from plugging in the nunchuck with your foot, then we should use it to control the weather. who knows what other secrets it holds...
Hilarious, Jason! Excellent work.
man, why can't my gadgets come with comics, that's awesome.
considering all that cracking on the disc, i was convinced it meant "nintendo is not releasing WoW for the Wii."
Do not taunt Happy Nintendo Wii.
another possible caption for the one with the heart:
The Wii does not love you.
This post had me in tears. Great post!
Robotube - thanks for the translation on the sign. I, like you, don't get that one. Don't throw your Wii away? From the pictogram I thought the Wii was for sale - that is, don't re-sell your Wii. Anyone with ideas as to why they'd warn against throwing it away?
So you can't control your heart with the Wii!?
Thank god Steve Jobs invented the Mac.
omg them "crazy" japanese folk!
all kidding aside, these graphics are actually pretty well done.. you can understand almost all of them without an explanation.
i'm guessing the garbage one is "do not place the console next to flammable materials" and the clover one is "do not insert objects into the exhaust grille"
It's funny because you can't read Japanese.
Robotube and chasqui - in Japan, rubbish is separated into burnable and buryable (and sometimes, but rarely at the moment, recyclable). What I imagine they're saying is, do not put your Wii in the burnable rubbish collection. It is buryable.
It's funny because you can't read Japanese hurrr
top post on reddit :)
darkowl - Whoa, where I live in Japan 80% of our trash is recycled. We have to separate ours into burnable, plastic, paper, cans, and PET. For larger stuff and electronics there are different categories. I don`t know where you`re getting the "buryable" bit from, but it`s certainly not the case for most of Japan. The Wii is subject to the electronics recycling law, which means you can be FINED if you don`t recycle it properly. (Which is why they are saying not to just toss it into the normal garbage.)
The clover bit is just a cute image for "Do not stick things into your Wii"
(I live in Japan and have a Japanese Wii.)
The garbage thing is because all electronics should not be just thrown away with regular trash. They should be recycled.