In a healthy relationship, the cast-off scraps of little battles are thrown into the pile, where time begets a natural heat, slowly turning the parts of the relationship that don't work into something from which better things can grow.

But when the relationship isn't working right—when the pile just can't make enough heat on its own to break down the thorns—sometimes it seems feels like you need professional help.

I moved to Oregon to be with Carmela a few months ago after an overwhelmingly wonderful courtship. Romance is its own sort of special fire, bright enough to blind.

But it wasn't a relationship. Not until I moved here, to Eugene, a sleepy college town, where I rented a beautiful home with a yard big enough for a garden. That's when real life began. Soon after I moved here last spring, I started my first compost pile.

It wasn't much. Just a Tupperware tub with some holes drilled in the bottom. I'd store up food scraps in a plastic tub in the fridge, then take them out every week or so and toss them into the bin. Sometimes my compost bucket would eat up all the scraps in just a few days, turning them into a nearly black, crumbly mess. Every once in a while it would be too wet and I'd have to throw a straw or leaves in to balance it out.

The NatureMill PRO XE indoor composter was delivered a few weeks ago, right around the time that Carmela and I first went to the counselor. It's the new model, which has a stronger, more efficient motor and heater that makes it possible to make mincemeat out of anything—even meat (or mince). This will save a step, I thought. No more caching food scraps indoors for a weekly dump; I'd just toss bits in as I was preparing food.

But an indoor composter doesn't work out so ideally in practice. Not because the NatureMill is hard to use—you can flip up the styrofoam lid at any point and toss in more scraps, although you should give them at least a day to get mashed in—but because even when I'd gotten the required sawdust, baking soda, and scraps mixed in healthy balance, it would still fill my kitchen with the strong odor of turbocharged decay.

And when the balance wasn't right, just a few seconds with the top popped could be nearly overpowering. I'm not terribly sensitive to the odor of compost or even trash, but there are times when one would rather not have to smell it. Like when making dinner, for instance. So my scrap collecting returned to the plastic tub, stored until after dinner was over.

Still, I let the NatureMill work its magic for a couple of weeks, ignoring its periodic whine as its internal actuator turned over the compost inside, even when it occasionally spooked my dog. (In fairness, Porter will bark and growl at nearly any aberrant noise that he doesn't understand as a signal for food.)

Dumping the finished compost was as simple as pressing a button and waiting about 20 minutes while the S-shaped arm pushed the compost from the hopper into a simple terra cotta-colored plastic bin below. The entire house filled with the vaguely sexual smell of composted food.

I was left with a brown lump of stuff that was indistinguishable from its original form—a good sign. As compost from the machine is still relatively fresh, NatureMill recommends putting it outside to cure. I plomped the steaming goop onto my garden, now covered in leaves and tattered corn stalks, where I hope it will seep into the soil for next year, even if it's looking increasingly likely that I won't be here to plant it.

We'd been having problems pretty much since I had arrived. Problems that we'd try to till under, give time to decompose on their own, but which would invariably insinuate themselves back into our relationship with the sweet smell of decay.

The counselor was our best chance, we thought. We needed outside help, some extra heat. It turned out to be too much heat. We barely made it through a single session before the counselor told us we should just break up, that we weren't going to be able to turn the relationship into something fecund and sustaining.

We got into the car, stunned, and drove home to surrender.

There's a place for the NatureMill, I think. And I mean besides outside in your garage. The ability to turn things like meat or even pet waste into compost is something that regular old compost piles just can't—or at least shouldn't, bacterially—do. If you're the sort that wants to turn every last scrap of waste back into your garden, I don't know of a better option. It's also entirely possible that one could get the smell more under control, especially by avoiding the composting of meat or dairy products.

But for most people, especially people with the outdoor space for a compost pile or bin, it might be better to save the four hundred dollars for something else. The NatureMill, with its smells and noises and need to be washed down occasionally—not to mention the trouble that will come when one eventually runs out of the little sawdust pellets they provide—isn't easier than doing it the old-fashioned way.

It's an industrial machine for a primeval process. And it works. Works very well. But I think sometimes it might be better to let nature take its course, push everything under a pile out of sight, and pretend the whole world always smells sweet.

In the middle of a relentlessly gray winter, can you imagine anything more wonderful? I cannot.

For those of you who prefer the temptations of caffeine, the $99 Bialetti Hot Chocolate Maker also makes teas and cappuccino, puddings and "cold milk beverages." But today isn't a cold milk day, is it? [Williams Sonoma via Unplggd]

It's pretty simple: Just flip the cube so the length of time you want counted down is the number on top. If you outfit your kitchen with items from the MoMA catalog, this'll fit right in. Just hope that every recipe you make calls for either 3, 10, 30 or 60 minute increments, or wait until the Dungeons and Dragons 20-sided timer comes out. It's available in three colors for $34 each. [OhGizmo]

Designed by artist Zeger Reyers, the kitchen was put in motion last week at the opening of Eating the Universe at the Kunsthalle Düsseldorf in Germany. Apparently, it will continue to rotate slowly for the duration. [trendbeheer via today and tomorrow via Likecool]

Yes, with just 1 tbsp of oil, you too can "fry" 2.2lbs of fries. And that claim seems legit, as the ActiFry uses a what looks like convection cooking (hot air blowing around) and a big stirring paddle to make potatoes crispy on all sides.

Think of it as a hot version of an ice cream maker.

Now maybe T-fal's ActiFry works, and maybe it doesn't (just glancing at their site, this method of frying doesn't fare so well for, say, chicken—at least according to their own photos that show drumsticks that look straight-up boiled). But by making frying healthy, not only are you spiting the gods, you're defeating the most pleasurable part of consuming that which has been born of grease: the looming danger of cardiac arrest. $300 [T-Fal via GadgetGrid via OhGizmo!]

The bot set is available for $33, won't be confused with bedroom gadgets, and is almost cute when at work:

Now, I'm certain these bots are somehow evil and will take over the world, but frankly I don't care if they spare me from any more singed tablecloths or hair. [Suck UK via Nerd Approved via Foolish Gadgets via Geeky Gadgets]

Designed by Ross McBride and named "Dolly," this concept is a combination salt-and-pepper shaker with separate chambers for each of the two flavorings. It's actually pretty clever, since you'd never have to worry about misplacing half the set. But is that comfort worth awkward glances at the dinner table? [Dezeen]

Luckily, manufacturer Rihanna is working on this $100 kitchen scale due out next year, complete with an iPod dock and 2W speaker (the speaker is hidden under the glass platform). Your iPod shows you the song while a black and white LCD displays the weights. I mean, does life get any better than this? [ADE via gizmag via UberGizmo]

Called "Coral," this concept pot is coated in thermochromic spots, highlighting sectors in the pale blue design with fiery orange and red as the pot heats. The thing is, I don't even need the Coral to change color. I'd buy the color bubble design as is (or at least, I'd consider the idea before questioning whether it would match my kitchen, future kitchen, various other pots I own, various other appliances I own, etc etc etc, along with whether or not I needed yet another thing taking up space in my kitchen cabinets—the answer of which would inevitably be "no" as I walked out of Macy's or Sur La Table or whatever, unfulfilled as a consumer but maturer as a person).

Sorry, maybe that was TMI on my kitchen-related buying habits. Just being honest. [Yanko via Unplggd]

With the push of a button, the Musical Cake (and pizza) Tray will play Happy Birthday (so you can sit in awkward silence while the plate does your job for you). But what's just as handy is that a series of LEDs illuminate around the cake's perimeter, signaling where the 12 slices should go.

Wait a second...there are supposed to be 12 slices in a cake? I thought you just cut the thing into 4 slices. You know, like pie. [Deni via GadgetGrid via OhGizmo!]

Just touch with any dry, clean part of your body to activate. Any clean body part will work. That simple. Touch to activate. Touch to deactivate. That. Is. It. Off with handles. Off with indicators. Off with any superfluous elements. Just capacitive touch built in the whole body, so you don't have to mess its metallic surface with your dirty, wet hands. And you can even detach the tip.

Geeneeus functionality, and perfect, minimalist design. Jon Ive and Dieter Rams probably have theirs already. As soon as I get $547 to throw away, I'll get mine. [Delta Faucet via Core77]

It may be that I really miss my Lego Timer, but I wouldn't mind to have this at all. So freaky funky colorful. [Flickr via The Cool Hunter via uuh.. internet]

ZERO G!!!!!!

SPICE RACK!!!!!

YOU HAVEN'T TASTED SPICE UNTIL YOU'VE TASTED IT IN ZERO G!!

ZERO G!!!!!

THE CANISTERS STICK UPSIDE DOWN!!!

ZERO G!!!

THE TASTE IS OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!!!

ZERO G!!!!

COOL!!!

ZERO G!!!

"Hey mom, this saffron just turned me into an astronaut!"

ZERO G!!!

SPICE RACK!!!

THE SPACE RACE JUST GOT A WHOLE LOT TASTIER. [Yanko Design via boing boing's Lisa Katayama, who came up with the brilliant product title]

AUGMENTED FREAKIN' REALITY!!!!!

Remember back when butter, flour and sugar were enough? Now the American appetite has grown so vast that we'll be consuming Pokémon, movie advertisements and Nascar figurines in no time. Just wait for it: A bowl of Cooler Ranch Doritos topped with Cialis coupons is just an ad campaign away. [Mike Clare and Tellart viaMAKE]

I mean, what could be more logical? Take a cooking tool that's fundamentally designed to have a large surface area for fast cooking and easy food flipping, then shrink it to unusably lilliputian proportions.

In all fairness, this $90, 6-piece mini-wok set is adorable. But if you buy it, you officially throw too many cutesy parties (because even one is one too many). Instead, save the money, dig a hole in your living room and throw a proper pig roast. Or just buy a hot pot that all of your friends can share (whatever works best for your particular value set and architectural budget). [Pro Idee via Random Good Stuff]

This is the idea behind Targa Italia's kitchen in a box concept. Like the Casulo before it, Targa Italia focuses on space saving and portability. When open, the kitchen features a full suite of appliances along with ample counterspace and even a pull out table. When the cooking is done, the entire system folds up neatly into a box form.

It seems like a great idea, but the box doesn't seem all that compact. So, I have to wonder whether or not the kitchen would really save a lot of space and be easy to transport in and out of doorways or up and down stairs. On the other hand, I can see something like this working as an outdoor kitchen quite easily. Put it out on a patio, then fold it up to make room for guests and/or use it as a table for food and drink. [Targa Italia via Dornob via Treehugger]

Teleport Fridge

Why: Unless you can find a way to live for another 1000 years, a fridge that teleports food to you probably won't be a part of your kitchen of the future.

Cocoon

Why: Test tube meat...mmmm good!

Wall Oven

Why: The fire department might have a problem with you openly zapping food with a three laser cooking system.

Origin Bubbles

Why: "Self-contained, palmed-size packets, the Origin Bubbles electronically regulate the temperature of food molecules. These molecules are then transformed into tasty, real life dishes at the touch of a button."

Is this molecule...submarine...thingy even based on actual science?

Vaccine Refrigerator

Why: If you need a magnetically cooled fridge to house over 1000 vaccines and antivenins, chances are the apocalypse has occurred. [Electrolux via Appliancist]

Taste Test is our weeklong tribute to the leaps that occur when technology meets cuisine, spanning everything from the historic breakthroughs that made food tastier and safer to the Earl-Grey-friendly replicators we impatiently await in the future.

Wylie does a pretty good job of explaining just how the CVap works in the above video, but here's the description from the product's site to lay it all out for you:

Winston equipment uses CVap technology to independently control the temperature of the water in the evaporator and the temperature of the air in the cabinet. Since food is mostly comprised of water, controlling food quality is dependent upon control of food moisture. The oven controls evaporation by producing a vapor-laden environment that completely surrounds food with moisture, creating an opposing vapor pressure that prevents the food from losing or gaining too much moisture. Independent control of air temperature determines the texture (browning level or crispness) of your food product. Independent control of water temperature matches the vapor temperature of the cabinet with that of the food being cooked or held, thus creating an ideal environment for maintaining food temperature over extended time periods.

Wylie uses the CVap to make dishes such as turbot, barbecued lentils, cauliflower and dried apricot. He cooks both the turbot and the cauliflower in the CVap, albeit at different temperatures, to perfectly cook the fish as well as turn thinly sliced cauliflower into cauliflower chips. Mmmm, delicious.

Basically, if Dan replaced his dishwasher with one of these, he'd never fail at cooking a piece of fish again. It's able to stop cooking when it senses something is done and just hold food at temperature, which is surely a godsend for chefs who are trying to keep their eye on a half-dozen things at once. Basically, this is something that most amateur cooks would love to have on-hand, but it's just a bit too specific for a regular kitchen. But for a pro like Wylie, he can use it to cook proteins and vegetables alike in a way that you never could do at home, and expend less effort while doing so. Hell, it'd probably be even more useful for talentless schlubs like us, but I guess that's just the way life is. [Winston CVap]

Send your best entries to me at contests@gizmodo.com with Future Kitchen Gadgets in the subject line. Save your files as JPGs or GIFs, and use a FirstnameLastname.jpg naming convention using whatever name you want to be credited with. Send your work to me by next Tuesday morning, and I'll pick three top winners and show off the rest of the best in our Gallery of Champions. Get to it!

By designers Sang-hoon Lee and Yong-bum Lim, The "Braun" Bell Mug concept senses liquid levels and chimes at three stages of fullness (about 1/3, halfway and 3/4). It would allow someone without sight to fill a mug perfectly every time while keeping their fingers clear of uncharted waters.

And the best part? There's no element of this design that's too implausible to keep it from manufacture. [Yanko Design via DVICE]

Clearly aimed at coffee shops and shut-ins, the $3500 device (yeah, you read that right) spits out perfectly formed four-inch pancakes at a rate of 200 per hour. ChefStack says its pancake mix is also 97% fat free, so though you'll be poor, you'll at least be guilt-free. [ChefStack via Uncrate]

Taylor Kitchenware should have their version (above) on store shelves by fall. No, it's not quite as eye-catching as the original design (even the fonts rub me the wrong way), but if a less attractive red color scheme is the price of actually releasing a good idea to the public, then so be it. [Yanko Design]

Reading this retrospective, I'm both surprised and unsurprised at how innovative and well-designed the Dustbuster is. It was rechargeable, wall-mountable, used a high-tech (for the time) design based on a familiar product (the dustpan), had an immediately catchy name and was instantly indispensable for every suburban family in the country. I remember sitting on the carpet and playing with it, which is certainly not something I was likely to do with a damn cleaning product, and the product's name quickly became both a universal noun and verb ("Oh yeah, I Dustbusted the stairs yesterday."). It definitely wasn't the most powerful vacuum cleaner on the market (any modern Dyson would clean its clock) and the filter had a tendency to jam, but for sheer utility, style and "I want that gadget!" appeal, the Dustbuster was and maybe even still is the tops.

The Dustbuster is, I'm comfortable saying, the gadget nerd's cleaning tool. It's portable, battery-powered, cute, and versatile, and has definitely made our lives better. Cleaner, at least. [Popular Mechanics]

Gizmodo '79 is a week-long celebration of gadgets and geekdom 30 years ago, as the analog age gave way to the digital, and most of our favorite toys were just being born.

While most of us dump coffee grounds into the garbage (OK, some of us might use them for compost or fertilizer), eco fashion company Singtex has taken three years to patent a process that converts used coffee grounds into yarn. And this yarn can weave shirts that aren't just Starbucks-approved, but that feature fast-drying, anti-odor properties. (S Cafe shirts look like any typical performance sportswear.)

Now if only they managed to infuse the fabric with a little of the coffee's caffeine we'd be onto something. [Singtex via Taiwan News via Greenlaunches]

The Oven Re-Constructed works as a normal cooktop, but when you want to back something, you can fold up its sections to create an oven sitting right on top of the surface. How exactly it works is not clear thanks to the standard vagaries of concept designs, but it's certainly an interesting take on an appliance that hasn't seen much innovation in a while.[a href="http://www.yankodesign.com/2009/06/24/the-oven-re-constructed/">Yanko Design via Ubergizmo]

As the designer notes:

Mr Cornock, 42, from Swindon, said that the knife will cut vegetables, but will make it almost impossible to stab someone to death and will reduce the risk of accidental injuries.

He said: "It can never be a totally safe knife, but the idea is you can't inflict a fatal wound. Nobody could just grab one out of the kitchen drawer and kill someone.

Really? Couldn't you go all Jack the Ripper on someone's throat with it? At any rate, if your wife or husband decides to replace your current knives with these anti-stab versions, that really says something about how they feel about you. Either they have the wrong impression, or they are on to you. [New Point Knives and Times Online via Fark]

It's another brilliant concept from the Art Lebedev studio, but like many of their products the "when" and "how much" part of the equation may take some time to figure out. [Art Lebedev via Gizmodiva via Likecool]

There are more detailed shots below, in the gallery, but do not blame me if you vomit.

From Wikipedia:

A meat grinder or meat mincer is a kitchen appliance for grinding, fine mincing or mixing raw or cooked meat, fish, vegetables or similar food. It replaces tools like the mincing knife, for example, which has been used to produce minced meat, filling etc. The producer puts the minced food into a funnel, which is placed on the top of the grinder. From there the material goes on a horizontal screw conveyor. This screw conveyor, that can be powered by a hand wheel or an electric motor, squashes and partially mixes the food. At the end of the screw conveyor there is a knife installed directly in front of the fixed hole plate. At this opening the minced meat comes out of the machine. The fineness of the meat depends on the size of the holes of the plate.

Four out of Five Gizmodo editors didn't have the stomach to post this. I can't say I blame them.

[where else?]

Their answer, given in patent filing US 2009/0095729, is a simple one: make all free-standing gadgets like kettles, toasters, juicers and food mixers in the shape of tall cuboids that can easily be pushed together on a worktop, with no wasted space between them. As the controls could be recessed in their flat lids or on the front panels, no space-wasting side access is required. The patent also suggests connecting the appliances together—presumably using a common power supply.

You know what this means right? Bedroom, office, living room and dining room squareness are still wide open. I'm calling dibs bitches! [Patent via New Scientist via Boing Boing and Fast Company]

If only I'd had this set of taco plates then (just $8 for 6!), I could have made a serious run for juvenile diabetes. Instead, I'm sitting here with a slightly high but reasonable BMI, repressing my crushed dreams/tacos with Freudian levels of emotional aloofness.

It's OK. I don't need your pity. [Solutions via CrunchGear]

The idea is simple—a mini countertop washing machine that can sanitize your germ-ridden kitchen towels. I mean, how often do you clean those things anyway? You probably have one draped over your faucet right now—stiff as a board. Imagine what kind of nasty things that towel must be crawling with. At this point, the machine is only a concept and there are no specific details on how the device might operate, but my feeling is that it would be more practical if it utilized UV light instead of soap and water to sanitize the towels. It would be greener and most likely take up less space. [Yanko via Home Tone via Cribcandy]

In her series Nicht Klotzen, Sondern Kleckern Sarah Illenberger assembled a collection of slick European blenders, hand mixers and stick blenders and put each one to use as a brush in a different painting. I'm no art critic, but I'm gonna say the hand mixers were the most aesthetically pleasing, while the big tabletop Bosch was pretty much a bust. The real question is, what gear should Illenberger use to paint with next? [Today and Tomorrow]

It could happen on a deserted island, or it could happen on a particularly long wait in the subway. Either way, it's only a matter of time before, in a moment of extreme hunger, you eye your MP3 player for snacking. As your teeth penetrate the tasteless silicon shell, you'll find the aluminum center to be ever so harder on tooth enamel than nougat—a point to which your dentist will concur.

Plus you'll still be hungry. [SwitchEasy]

Comprised of 200 tiny walnut and maple squares, these Space Invaders coasters run $50 or five. At that price, you might not want to assemble a whole army as tradition dictates, even if it means you need to scale back that demented drinking game you just thought up. [Etsy via Geeky Gadgets]