Gizmodo: Masturbation

Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator

Jason Chen — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:20:00 EST

The Real Touch is like a Fleshlight that moves on its own, pre-synced with the porn you're currently watching on your computer. It's one step closer to simulating having sex with the girl on the screen, but should you buy?

That answer is unclear. Fleshbot tests it out and says that although it has its downsides—PC-only, lots of setup and cleanup, plus it's super expensive—the actual sensation (or sensations, for different orifices) is fantastic.

Head over to Fleshbot (NSFW) to see their review. We'll be covering this as well, from a more technical view to explain how it works, how they get the video synced up and how well it performs as a gadget; albeit a gadget for your penis. [Fleshbot (NSFW)]

Japanese Developers Make a Game to Go With Hands-Free USB Pleasure Gadget

Jason Chen — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:00:00 EST

Japanese engineers have been making automated masturbation devices for a while now [here and here], but as Brian Ashcraft from Kotaku finds, they've finally made a game to go along with the action.

The SOM, a USB-connected wank toy, comes packaged with a game called Cross Days. Developers hooked up the SOM to be coordinated with the action on screen during the "climax scenes", which is so obvious execution of the two products that we're sure this has been done before.

Would we recommend it? That's tough to say without trying. But at the very least it'll prevent:

[Japanese Site via Some Other Japanese Site via Kotaku]

Japan Dominates Masturbate-a-Thon: Gadgets Help Break 8 Hour 30 Minute Record (NSFW)

Sean Fallon — Fri, 30 May 2008 17:30:00 EDT

Think you have what it takes to become a masturbating champion? Can you endure longer than 8 hours and 40 minutes? Because that is what it will take to beat the new record set by both Norihiro Taneichi and Masanobu Sato of Tokyo at this year's Masturbate-a-Thon in San Francisco. The two finalists went "head-to-head" in a competition that finally ended when an exhausted Taneichi gave up, allowing Sato to claim the prestigious title. What was their secret? They were both using the Tenga New Adult Concept line of onanism cups. WARNING!: NSFW gallery after the break.

Tenga Demo Video (Safe):

In fact, the two men were representatives from Tenga who spent the $20 entrance fee in order to conduct a "little research" into their new product. So, if you want to go pro with your masturbating hobby, you are going to need to get yourself a Tenga cup and practice, practice, practice. But that is what it takes to be a true champion—blood, sweat, and semen. So get cracking guys! We need to bring this title home to the USA next year! [SF Weekly via 3yen and Fleshbot]

Steampunk Masturbation Device Invented by Internet Anal-Retentive Nerd Guru Merlin Mann

Jason Chen — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:30:00 EDT

If you thought Merlin Mann was only good at making up ways to file all your emails into one of 43 correct folders, think again. He's also good at comedy. And masturbating. And steampunk. What do you get when you combine the three? This pretty damn great video. If you're lost, watch it after the jump as Merlin explains his hobby in intricate detail. It's not NSFW, but we didn't want to piss off the lady that works at Martha Stewart who wrote to us one time. On the other hand, she's probably long gone.

Steampunk DIY from Merlin Mann on Vimeo.

[Coilhouse via Fleshbot]

Tenga Flip Hole Masturbatory Machine Has Me Foxed

AddyDugdale — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 07:51:50 EDT

I am ashamed to say that the first time I saw this, I thought it a clamshell phone concept. Called the Tenga Flip Hole onacup, it's a *whispers* wanking machine that opens up so you can clean it easily. It's made of silicon, and there are vacuum and pump buttons buttons on it for you to adjust the side and, er, pump. It's good for fifty goes, apparently, and will cost you $99, for which they throw in three pots of lube. There's a fascinating birds-eye view of it after the jump.

I've had enough. Can I go home now, please? [Product Page via Kanojo Toys]

The Rubbot Male Sex Gadget is in Beta, Looks Slightly Dangerous

Jason Chen — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:00:20 EST

The Rubbot may be on the periphery of gadgetdom, but at the same time it stands for everything we believe technology can do. Yes, it's a male sex toy that allows you to rub yourself silly without using your hands—hence, rubbot. The creators are in the beta stage (beta testers wanted!) and made this video to show just how far they have to go. After seeing what it did to that beer bottle, there's no way we're sticking our dorks into that. That's what interns are for. [Rubbot via Fleshbot]

Japanese Robotech Thruster Sex Machine

Jason Chen — Tue, 22 May 2007 18:01:46 EDT

Like Lam with his pink Japanese blowjob machine, I was debating whether I should post this. But if you can handle his pink blowjobber, you can handle this Robotech Thruster machine.

The thruster attaches to a table or other solid surface and has a "Highspeed piston," "Powerful movement" and a "High quality stabilizer". It's essentially a masturbation machine you control with that hand lever, which varies speed and intensity depending on how you like it.

Kanjo Toys claims that it's fantastic because you don't have to buy new "onacups" to put in it, which we're guessing means you're going to have to wash this when you're done. No word on whether it's dishwasher safe.

Better shot after the jump.

– Jason Chen

Robotech Thruster masturbation machine [Kanjotoys]

Sqush Neck Massager Might Massage More Than Just Necks

Charlie White — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 13:00:00 EST

The Sqush Neck Massager might be the perfect antidote to 24-hour blogging sessions, keeping your tireless team on its toes no matter how many cellphone posts we write.

It's a bit disconcerting that this device looks vaguely like the yokes worn by a team of oxen, but it also reminds us of that old "Bone Phone" (anybody remember that?) from years gone by. Even so, the Sqush could probably put the kibosh on whatever pain you suffer, offering blessed relief for the bargain price of $19.99.

Speaking of bones, isn't the Sqush getting perilously close to an erogenous zone or two in that picture above? Perhaps the ladies might even consider slipping the vibrating massager between the legs for a little ride 'em horsey action. A versatile device, indeed. – Charlie White

Sqush Neck Massager [ubergizmo]