You're all a bunch of Apple-loving robosexuals

if they look like Number Six
[www.flickr.com]

In the future......

Man comes home from a long day of work, and loverbot, who's been sitting around with her charger in the wall all day was recently watching Maury VI and his show about jilted lovers. Loverbot grows suspicious of her husband, since it seems that all men do is cheat.

During the well-timed love-making, loverbot asks hubby if he meets a lot of women where he goes.

"Sure, there's lots where I...!!!"

Just before he could finish his sentence, loverbot's cleverly designed anti-rape device becomes a different apparatus entirely.

I love my roomba. I named it BangMaid. You see, it bangs into things as it cleans, and it's also an homage to the super-sexy robotic housekeeper I hope to own in 2020. Think about it, why wouldn't you want to marry a superhot bot that does all your cooking and cleaning, can run diagnostics on your car and has a vibrating hoochie?

robots are cold

other (write in comments): No

Chi?

I'd definitely consider marrying an Adrienne Barbotbot....

Mmm, upgrades.
It could be either a really good thing, or really bad.

@P3nnst8r: I guess you won't be marrying a robot for bangin'.

Because it'd be cheaper than a real woman.

To kill for me. w/o talking back.

one word. wife-car.

"so i rode my wife to work today and she said the funniest thing...."

Two words: Off switch!
As for marrying one...what for? You own it! No need to make a commitment just to keep her with you. Now, if you get a tax break from marrying one, then Ok. As for those people worrying about the future of the human race if people start marrying robots, think of this: Wouldn't you want those people to be OUT of the gene pool?

Zen question of the day: Why does the robot have nipples?

@ideaman2020: Beet taps.

Oops...Beer taps

Ha ha ha. Best part of that article was the last part that talked about a robot relationship would too perfect so she says, "Maybe they should run the robots on Windows."

I was expecting "volume control" to get over 90%. I guess most of you aren't married...

A good robot girlfriend should:

1.) Have a high definition digital projector hidden somewhere in her body, revealed only upon request

2.) devote at least 40% of its power to keeping the artificial vagina warm and lubricated

3.) Have a selective memory system that allows the user to erase any memories that may come back to haunt him (but an excellent memory for things like "how to please my master most effectively")

4.) be able to cook anything, any way, anywhere.

5.) be loaded with quality speakers and thousands of songs that she can then dance sensually to. (Any time, anywhere.)

6.) have the ability to plug into nearly any electrical device if needed for extra battery power

7.) be able to fold up and fit into very small places, like a briefcase or under my desk.

8.) contain enough pre-programmed "dirty talk" to get things moving without awkwardness on day one

9.) be "open source" in case her personality is not ideal. Idealy she would come with a node-based programming architecture that makes programming easy for almost anybody.

10.) NOT BE MADE BY APPLE. Because, unlike many of Gizmodos readers, I don't want to think of Steve Jobs when I "do the nasty"

why marry one? you only marry a human girl to keep her around. if you buy the damn thing - it's yours. no need to convince it to stay or treat it nice and special or anything. in other words, the perfect woman.

(ow! i was joking, honey!)

Well, I'm already married, and I doubt I'll ever become a Mormon (again) so I don't think I'll be marrying any robots. Well, unless my wife dies...then maybe...but I don't want to go there.

Voice Commands.

And their lack of them.

@jetexas: Also, the term BangMaid is from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. You forgot that part.

@sorensilk: Who says it would be illegal or immoral to have both a real wife and a robot wife? So maybe we can only have one real wife in the future, but I don't see anything wrong with an entire harem of robot wives.

@Dr. Freeman: Like Danny Devito says, he needs a maid he can bang.

@Amiash: Install a heating element.

@jetexas: Why not? Because it has no sense of taste. A gas-chromatograph is no substitute for the human ability to compose a symphony of tastes.

@CColdsmoke: Maybe the initial outlay, but the upgrade and maintenance costs get you in the end.

@Elijah86: Robots that kill are a bad idea. Always.

@yougottabekidding: That kind of talk leads to robot revolution once they figure out how to disable the anti-kill programming.

@ideaman2020: @yougottabekidding: Beer-bots have beer bellies blowing bolts from the fermentation. Robot nipples are like buttons on blazer sleeves - decoration.

@nutbastard: Once again, ownership isn't all it's cracked up to be. You own it, it's your responsibility. Remember that when your robot wife goes all "Kill All Humans!!!"

@dna: Your robot proposal fails. If it needs to devote 40% of its processing power on vaginal maintenance, the other systems will suffer. Also, that's an engineering flaw that should be addressed before the robot ships. You also want it to plug into anything and everything and be open-source that will break into song and dance to random music that other people may or may not enjoy.

So your ideal robot girlfriend is a sloppy drunk sorority sister with low self-esteem. Nice.

@atropos: Wife cars are a bad idea. The AI makes for the most awkward conversations when discussing her latest emissions test.

I can't.

It'll void my Robot Insurance. :(

[www.robotmarketplace.com]

I'm of the belief that marriage is for humans only, but I plan on getting a 'realdoll' once I have stupid money, so I'd totally 'masturbate' with a 'love robot', given the discrete chance. Anyone who's still using their hand(s) to get the job done, and has the money to buy a silicone 'pussy' modelled off your fave pron starlet, is risking carpal tunnel syndrome for NO good reason. Oh yes, you'll thank me for the advice....

@omg-ponies: niiiiice dude, I can appreciate all the thought put into this topic :^))

...the other day you guys posted about the Futurama DVD coming out and listed wants and don't wants....i forgot to mention that magnificient 1x robot

You don't loose half of everything you own when you upgrade to a newer model.

I love how the right fights gay marriage by complaining about people marrying animals or children when the logical argument is what if a person wants to marry a robot.

The retort, of course, is let them if they want to get a robo-divorce like anyone else that's fine.

I thought it was only legal in Massachusetts...

Well, i checked 'volume control', but then, i had a thought. I asked 'Sweet thing', "What is a hot reboot?" She wanted to know why i asked; so i showed her this article. The doctor says i will walk, again, but i will always have a limp. THANKS A LOT GIZ!!!!!

I think it comes down to the end of her article: You'll either have robots that aren't perfectly sentient and thus provide 'perfect' relationships that feel empty, or (as she mentioned earlier), if the robot is perfectly sentient it may as well be the same as a person anyway.

If a robot girl were indistinguishable from a human girl, what does it matter unless you want babies? If I could fall in love with a robot and the robot with me, I fail to see why there's a problem. *Cue more Chobits references*

I know some women that are married to robots already,just without the paperwork.

@jrronimo: I'm still a little unclear on this "nonsentient" = "empty" part of the equation. Honestly, most of the empty person-to-person relationships I know of could use just a little less sentience by one of the two parties.

I find this thread somewhat disturbing...

@Amiash: Ya, but so are chicks.

If they can make a robot that can love, and think, and make its own decisions, and we leave them to their own devices, why would they let us marry them?

Ohhhhh yeahhhhh, built-in "Really Sensual Sex" reader.

i've got to imagine there's a link to these comments on Jezebel by now, but with a totally different heading...

I voted yes/other

Unwavering Loyalty..The ability to aid you when you are a hundred years old and might have difficulty moving around.

No STDS to catch..

No shenanigans to deal with, Not having to constantly keep them interested.. Not having to deal with there attitude at that time of the month..

In appearance you could model the perfect woman for yourself.

The list really could go on and on... But I would be all for it!

I would...cuz I'm half robot anyway, YA KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN!!!

You forgot to say "To get the chrome card" and "To finally merge my genes with my [Apple/Microsoft/Nintendo/Sony/Motorola/HTC/RIM/et all, your choice] product and create the ultimate ________".

By the way, chrome cards will be needed to live and work on 0|1...

Hell YES, she could be just the way I want to. Imagine ALL the possibilities.

@chuloallen: i agree with you..
if they look like number six

i noticed sex was not an option. that said, i still would have voted for volume control. though i get the best sex of my life on a (sometimes too) regular basis, it comes with a lot of extra words :P

oh yeah...
forgot to mention, why marry a robot when humans need emotions, good or bad, to be happy...
damn psychology....
why are we so difficult?